The Perfect Summer Playlist

You need a perfect summer playlist that is happy and has a mixture of all of the genres of music, but have no fear, here is a post that is built entirely to suggest the best songs to blare in your car on a warm summer afternoon.

You’re in the car taking the winding backroads at about five miles too fast, the windows are down, your best friend is in the passenger seat, and you have your volume turned all of the way up. The warm summer sun beats down on the arm that you have dangled halfway out of your window. Your sunglasses are sliding down the bridge of your nose and your hair is a complete mess but you don’t mind because it’s summer and the trees on either side of the road are blurring together to dilute into a perfect shade of deep green. It’s summer and everything is perfect. Well, almost perfect.

Because you have yet to craft your perfect summer playlist and you have to keep skipping through songs so that you can maintain the happy and carefree vibe that you’re currently experiencing.

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You need a perfect summer playlist that is happy and has a mixture of all of the genres of music, but have no fear, here is a post that is built entirely to suggest the best songs to blare in your car on a warm summer afternoon.

  • Uptown Girl – Billy Joel. 
  • One – VHS Collection
  • Forgetting All About You – Phoebe Ryan
  • Overwhelming – Jon Bellion
  • Stung – Quinn XCII
  • Better Now – Post Malone
  • Never Fall in Love – Jack Antonoff, MO
  • PinkTree – Caye
  • Love Lies – Khalid, Normani (Snakehips Remix)
  • Solo – Demi Lovato, Clean Bandit
  • 2 U – Pink Slip
  • Winnebago – Griffin, Quinn XCII, Daniel Wilson
  • Playinwitme – KYLE, Kehlani
  • I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness
  • Young – Cosmos & Creature (Win & Woo Remix)
  • Glory Days – Hayley Kiyoko (Moophs Remix)
  • Come on Eileen –
  • Look At Us Now – Lost Kings, A$AP Ferg
  • I’m OK – Shaylen, Manila Killa, AOBeats
  • The Way It Was – Coast Modern
  • Spice Girl – Anime 
  • Bad 4 U – Imad Royal
  • Cheers – MoonzZ
  • Talk Too Much – Coin
  • Ugly Heart – GRL
  • Weekend – Louis the Child
  • Final Song – MO
  • Aloha – Mome
  • All Star – Smashmouth
  • Carry On – fun. 
  • Gives You Hell – All American Rejects
  • Bennie and the Jets – Elton John
  • Dancing Queen – ABBA 
  • When I Grow Up – Confetti
  • Jessies Girl – Rick Springfield
  • Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd 
  • Red Red Wine – UB40
  • Sober Up – AJR

I hope that this gives you some inspiration for your own summer playlist! If you’re interested, I can post the link to my spotify playlist! Comment your current favorite summer jam, mine is Solo by Demi Lovato.

As always; be sure to like, comment, and follow! Stay rad!

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My Freshman Year of College: The Truth

My freshman year gave me more than new friends and knowledge–  it also helped me find a passion. I was able to fuel my interest in helping those in need around me. I was able to spend a lot of my time giving back to my community and it fulfilled me. It was also nice being able to be around other people who loved to volunteer as well because you should always surround yourself with positive influences.

A few weeks ago, I officially finished my freshman year of college, and it was great.

Now that’s not a phrase I ever imagined myself saying. Mostly because I’m a first generation college student and even though I’ve always known that I wanted to be a college student, I was never entirely sure if it was an achievable goal for me. I don’t come from a necessarily prosperous family and I didn’t really have much guidance when it came to choosing which college would be my future home, but I went with my gut and decided to go to a college that was three hours away from my home in a town that I had never even visited before.

So, it’s safe to say that I was petrified when I first walked onto that campus. I only had one friend, I was unsure of my major, and I was gut-wrenchingly homesick within the matter of hours. On my first day of orientation, I actually locked myself into the communal bathroom in my hall and cried for fifteen minutes just because I was so unsure if I was meant to be a college student.

I didn’t understand so many things, like dorm etiquette and how to get my roommate to like me and what is the best way to buy text books and should I get involved in clubs and if so which clubs should I join and there were just— so many questions that I was too terrified to ask anyone because I was too embarrassed to own up to the fact that I was not nearly as well-versed in the intricate workings of college like how everyone else appeared to be. I missed my friends, my family, my dog. I missed having the security of being at home.

And I stayed that way for, I don’t know, the first few weeks? The feeling of homesickness was just so difficult to get rid of. And I was so upset with myself for not being happier at college because I worked so hard to get where I was and then for a while I wasn’t even that secure in my decision. I wanted to talk to someone about how lost I felt, but I was too ashamed. I didn’t want people to see that I wasn’t as strong as I had let on.

But then, I hit a point where I decided to stop wallowing in the feeling of homesickness and take the leap to do more than go to college and actually enjoy college. I stopped spending all of my time in my room and made myself branch out. I went to the events that were held for freshmen to make us feel more welcome, and I asked around to see which clubs people recommended. I ended up being intrigued into joining two different organizations: a leadership club for freshmen and a sorority.

Joining these two different organizations changed my college experience in ways that I can’t explain. I surrounded myself with people who pushed me to be better versions of myself. They motivated me to do community service, meet new people, and maintain my GPA. The mixture of these clubs also helped me meet people from all across campus and even get familiar with the new city I was living in. I found myself in a new community filled with so many loving, passionate people who have so much greatness destined for them that it made me feel like I was destined for greatness too.

I still got homesick at times, and I even had a few close loved ones pass away over the course of my first semester. But since I branched out and formed close relationships on campus, I was able to find people to lean on during the hard times.

If I didn’t have them, I would have definitely dropped out after my first midterms. And not even because I had bad grades or anything, but because I would have still felt so miserably alone and homesick.

My freshman year gave me more than new friends and knowledge–  it also helped me find a passion. I was able to fuel my interest in helping those in need around me. I was able to spend a lot of my time giving back to my community and it fulfilled me. It was also nice being able to be around other people who loved to volunteer as well because you should always surround yourself with positive influences.

And these positive influences helped me push myself during my second semester. I found the confidence to run for positions in both of my organizations and ended up getting places in both. I was able to help more with community service in my sorority and somehow was given the position of president of my leadership club. I tried to set a good example to others during that second semester and push everyone else to get involved too because of how rewarding the experience can be. I found myself realizing how much I have grown as a leader and just as a person in general during my first year at college, and I realized I wanted to help others grow too.

During this time, I also had a few other experiences like trying sushi and going to an art museum and just living life with less fear than I had before college. I went from a girl who was terrified of living the simple comfort of her home in the country to a woman that was embracing all of the possibilities the city had to offer. I knew that I was changing, and for the first time in my life I wasn’t scared of the change.

I feel like college pushed me in so many ways to want to do more, to be more, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I made so many new lifelong friends, challenged my old mindsets, and grew as a leader in ways I cannot describe. I know that I had a rough patch in the start, but I wouldn’t trade my college experience for anything.

And I can only hope that my sophomore year of college is just as amazing as this year.

I hope that you enjoyed this little journal entry of sorts. Feel free to share what your college experience was like! Be sure to like, comment, and follow! 

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Are Your Friends Good For You?

Toxic friendships are hard to spot, because it is often difficult to be able to take a step back and realize that the relationship you have with someone is being mentally harmful to you. So, how are you supposed to decide when friendships are toxic? 

Friends, they come in different shapes, sizes– and dynamics.

We all have friends. But, not every friendship is the same. There are the friendships where your counterpart knows every secret that you own, and then there are the ones where you never delve far beneath the surface of formalities. And one of these types of friendships aren’t necessarily superior to the other, because we all need different types of friendships at different times in our lives. But, there is a type of friendship that you should try to avoid at all costs: and that is a toxic friendship.

And toxic friendships are hard to spot, because it is often difficult to be able to take a step back and realize that the relationship you have with someone is being mentally harmful to you. So, how are you supposed to decide when friendships are toxic?

First off, you can decide if a friendship is good for you or not by thinking about how you feel after spending time with them. If a being around a certain friend consistently makes you feel anxious or upset with yourself, then they’re probably not a good friend. If your friend is mentally tearing you down or treats you in a certain way that makes you feel less confident in yourself, then that is just simply someone you should not keep around in your life if you have the option. Life is a short adventure, so don’t waste your time on someone that will make you stop appreciating the beauty of it. If you can’t make yourself enjoy the time you spend a friend, then why continue to spend time with them?

Another sign that a friendship might be toxic is if you have an intense amount of competition with them. A bit of friendly competition is okay, seeing as it can push you to expand your limits and work to become a better version of yourself. But, when the friendship becomes entirely centered on besting them and always trying to be one step ahead of your friend, then it is no longer healthy. It’s not really a friendship if the only time you put energy into the relationship is to try to be better than the other. Especially because if you let this become a full-blown rivalry but you end up needing a shoulder to lean on, the chance of that friend taking anything you confide to them to use against you is extremely likely.

Speaking of a friendship that is bordering on becoming frenemies, you should also think about being careful befriending someone that you feel resentment towards. If you find yourself being close with someone that you want to talk badly about after they leave the room– don’t. Don’t be that friend who is slightly two-faced because if you want to gossip harshly about your supposed friend, then the people who witness you act that way will not want to trust you as a friend either. Anyways, if you don’t genuinely enjoy being friends with someone, then don’t be. You know that you don’t want to have a toxic friendship in your life, so you should also make the effort to not be the toxic friend either.

Overall, friendships should be something that have a positive impact in your life. The friendship does not have to be deep and soul-bearing, and you don’t even have to love the unconditionally. But you should want to smile when you think of your friend. A good friend doesn’t tear you down, and you shouldn’t want to tear that friend down either. Life can be crazy and unpredictable, and you want to have a good friendship that you can rely on. They might not be perfect, but if a friendship makes you happy then it is most definitely worth it. Just make sure that the friendship is actually good for you.

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Thanks for reading, please like, comment, and follow!

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My Summer Bucket List

During summertime, you become consumed with this need to do something, whether it be to take risks and go adventures or maybe just start a diet and work out more often. I feel like everyone feels kind of restless during the summer, so it is important to have a kind of outline of what you wish to accomplish during this period of time when the sky is the limit.

There’s something so special about summer. Maybe it’s the fresh air, the flowers in full bloom, or the warm weather– but there is something so specifically thrilling about this certain time that sparks a new life into your soul. During summertime, you become consumed with this need to do something, whether it be to take risks and go adventures or maybe just start a diet and work out more often. I feel like everyone feels kind of restless during the summer, so it is important to have a kind of outline of what you wish to accomplish during this period of time when the sky is the limit.

And personally, there are several things that I want to do during this summer, so I decided to write down all of the adventures that I hope to take part of this summer. Here are just a few of the things that I hope to do over the next few months.

 1. Eat healthier and work out more

I feel like this is on everyone’s bucket list. Which, why shouldn’t it be? If you have a desire to live a healthier lifestyle, then why not try to aspire to do so? I mean, knowing me, I’m definitely not gonna follow through. But hey, at least I took the initiative to add it my list, right? I feel like I deserve a gold star or something for taking that step.

2. Get a tan

Again, this is another basic thing everyone aspires to do over the summer. I feel like there should be some sort of scientific study conducted to see why people are so much happier when they get a tan. I personally believe it’s because my skin is as white as Elmer’s Glue and it is always a welcome change to not have your skin instantly reflect any ounce of light that it comes in contact with.

But, I do have to state that while I’ll try to attempt to cross this off of my bucket list, I will most definitely get a sunburn and then, without a doubt, will complain relentlessly about the sunburn until it fades into a tan.

3. Revamp my wardrobe 

Honestly, I’m getting tired of wearing the same clothes that I’ve had since middle school. Especially since I’m not in high school anymore and dress codes no longer exist, I personally feel like I should take this opportunity and buy as many rompers as my basic white girl heart desires.

4. Have a photoshoot with a friend

A little hardly-known fact about me is that I’m that friend that is obsessed with pictures. If we are ever at any type of event, I will without a doubt take a thousand pictures of you in different places and poses because I love to make my friends feel beautiful. I’ve always wanted to have a little photoshoot just for fun and because I love taking pictures, and I feel like this would be a great way to spend some quality time with a pal.

5. Make some crafts 

Okay, so you know when you’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and you start by looking at all of the updates on your friends’ lives and then suddenly you’re watching the fiftieth DIY about how to make a wreath out of a hoola hoop and some twine? Well, after doing this at least a thousand times, I feel like I should probably set a goal to do at least now craft over the summer. Especially because I find crafting to be super calming.

And yes, I completely understand that this goal makes me sound like a soccer mom.

6. Go to the mountains

My favorite place in the world is the mountains. It’s so breathtakingly beautiful up there and the fact that you automatically lose service once you get up high enough makes you connect with the serene beauty around you in a way that is just so freeing. The certain mountains that I love to visit also happens to have several amazing restaurants and museums that are some of my favorite places to go when on a trip. If you want to know more about what I do when I visit the mountains, I’ll more than likely make a blog about it once I visit, so stay tuned!

7.Visit some friends from college

College has blessed me with meeting some of the most amazing and genuine souls in my life, I know that I haven’t known these new people for that long, but being in a close proximity to them 24/7 for months has kind of spoiled me with being able to see them at any given moment. My life became so dependent on these people that were complete strangers less than a year ago and I legitimately do not know how I survived before I met them. I miss them already and we haven’t even been apart for a month yet, so I plan on taking a road trip to visit some college friends and reconnect.

8. Host a bonfire 

When it’s summer, it’s like this unwritten law that you have to gorge yourself on smores. And where there are smores, there must be a bonfire. There’s nothing more cliche and entertaining than being able to set beside a fire and laugh into the starry night with some of your closest friends on a warm summer night. I personally feel like this item should have a spot on every person’s summer bucket list simply because bonfires are so great.

9. Build my confidence

This is more of a personal goal, one that I have tried to accomplish for years now. I’m not the most confident person, and I want to try to work on that. So, this summer I’m planning on doing enough self-care and affirmation to myself that hopefully I leave the summer just the tiniest bit more confident.

10. Read (at least) two books

I love reading and I think it is always important to continue expanding your mind even when you are not expected to. Also, there are tons of great books out there that I have told myself I am going to read but just haven’t gotten around to it yet. So why not take the time to treat myself to a good book or two?

11. Have a picnic

Picnics are the best. I remember when I was younger, I always wondered why in movies there were always so many picnic dates, but now I completely understand why. I went on one picnic that was supposed to last for about half an hour but I ended up staying there for over four hours. There was something just so serene about being able to eat and chat with some of your closest friends in the shade as you watch everyone else walk by and enjoy the sunshine too. If you’re ever feeling down– go on a picnic. Trust me, the best way to eat a sandwich is to go outside and have to fight off seventy ants while doing so.

12. Go to the beach

Ninky Menjaj said it best when she said “let’s go to the beach beach!” (Please someone get that vine reference). I love the beach, I love the ocean, I love all of the restaurants by the beach, I love being able to wake up and hear waves crashing against the sun. There are just so many things to love about the beach that a summer is never complete without visiting it. Now, here’s to hoping my wallet can handle a trip to the beach.

(Spoiler alert: it can’t).

13. Build the perfect summer playlist

I’m currently in the works of this right now because the key to making amazingly memorable moments is to have the perfect song crooning in the background. But, making the perfect playlist to fit the exciting vibe of summer has started to prove difficult, so if you have any suggestions please share some with me!

14. Go to an Amusement Park

Rollercoasters, funnel cakes, ferris wheels, oversized pizza slices, and water slides. Need I say more? I love amusement parks, and I am lucky enough to have one at a reasonable distance from my home, so I’ll definitely be crossing this one off of my list. There’s nothing better than combining a sugar high with an adrenaline rush, am I right?

15. Go to a music festival

I love music, I love being outside, and I love having an excuse to dress in outrageous outfits. And music festivals somehow are able to combine all of the things that I love into one. Ever since I was little, I always wanted to have a Woodstock-esque experience and be able to sway to some of my favorite songs on a beautiful summer day.

And that’s my summer bucket list. I hope that I can cross all of these items off of my list without breaking the bank, and I’ll be sure to update you guys with my progress!

Be sure to comment below items on your summer bucket list, I want to see what you guys hope to accomplish this season. As always, give me a like and a follow. I am making sure to follow everyone back!

Have a great summer and stay rad–

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The Truth About Anxiety

I wish that I could tell you that handling anxiety can one day lead to being okay forever. But that’s not the case. Life can still suck. Words sometimes won’t come out. And the sadness can stay for months at a time. There are no simple tips and tricks to fix it. I wish that there was. 

TRIGGER WARNING: In this post there is an in-depth description of the not-so-bright side of anxiety. If this can upset you in any way, please don’t continue. 

Hi. So this post will be a bit different from my other blogs. It’s not something that was really even meant to be broadcasted on the internet. Actually, it is something that was never even supposed to leave the inner workings of my mind. This post is actually from a letter that I was going to send to a close friend that I wrote during a time in my life where nothing was going right. I never planned on sharing it with anyone else, not even the person that the letter was originally for. But now that I’ve had enough time to reflect on it and see how much I’ve changed, I decided to let this small corner of the world get a glimpse into the mentality behind generalized anxiety. 

So, here it is, my written panic attack :

I’m sorry that I’m not me.

That sounds weird. But, it’s true. We both know its true. I’m not the girl that you met. I’m not the same person that was brimming with joy and love. I don’t spend most of my time doing things to make others happy. I don’t even do things to make me happy anymore.

For the past few months, I’ve been empty. Things that used to make me smile don’t anymore. Conversations with old friends don’t bring me joy anymore. Even listening to my favorite song or taking a bubble bath or even doing those stupid breathing exercises that all of the self-help blogs claim to work wonders won’t fix this. I feel like in the place where I used to have all of this bright and swirling happiness there’s just nothing. And it’s stupid. I’m stupid.

I’m stupid.

I used to be happy. I had so much hope for where everything in my life was heading and I had so much love. Love for people, love for nature, love for myself. I had spent so long building myself up from the dark place where I used to be, and now suddenly it’s gone.

The love, the happiness, the feeling of being able to go into social situations and not wanting to cry. Its gone. And I didn’t even see it go. I think that’s the most terrifying thing.  That you can spend so long fixing yourself and working on your mentality and then you wake up and everything that made you feel at peace is suddenly something that petrifies you. How is that even possible? How does everything in your mind change and you don’t even notice until it’s too late?

I truly felt like everything was okay. I thought I had my anxiety managed. And I wanted to have it managed, not just for me, but for you. For any person that is going through anxiety and wants to see a glimmer of hope that one day things will be alright. I wanted to show you that when you get older and when you’re able to surround yourself with people that support you and want you to be okay–you will be okay.

But that’s not the case. Things don’t get magically better. Even when you become older and are given the tools to handle your anxiety, it doesn’t help. Nothing helps.

I’m sorry that I filled your head with false hope. I’m sorry that I acted like I had anxiety all figured out like it was this manageable thing. I’m sorry that I’m not me anymore. I know that I disappeared and shut in on myself. I wasn’t replying to anyone, I wasn’t trying to be in social situations– it’s just half of the people in my life were making more anxious, and the other half were people that would want me to talk about it. And I can’t.

My mom told me that when I was a baby, whenever I would get upset I would get so angry that I would hold my breath until I would make myself pass out. And now, I do the same thing with my words. Whenever something is hurting me mentally, if someone tries to talk to me about it, I’ll hold it in until I explode. And that’s what I’m doing now. I’m bottling everything inside even though I know I shouldn’t just because I don’t want everyone to see how far I have fallen. I feel like I’m supposed to have it all figured out– but I don’t. I don’t think I ever will have it all figured out.

And for that, I can’t be more sorry. I wish that I could tell you that handling anxiety can one day lead to being okay forever. But that’s not the case. Life can still suck. Words sometimes won’t come out. And the sadness can stay for months at a time. There are no simple tips and tricks to fix it. I wish that there was.

But in reality, anxiety is like getting your gas pedal stuck while driving down the highway. You can do small remedies to try and fix it momentarily the car is still flying at an uncontrollable speed and everything else around you kind of blurs while you sink into the feeling of panic that nothing can be done to save you from the feeling.

I wish someone would save me from this feeling.

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And that’s that. That’s the letter that I wrote to one of my closest friends and never ended up sending. I chose not to send it for several reasons. The biggest reason being that I knew she is struggling with anxiety too, and I didn’t want her to see me fall. I felt like me giving her what was going on in my mind and showing her how life wasn’t as good as I made it out to be would be damaging for her. The other reason was because it felt too raw. The night when I wrote that letter, I was in my second week at a college hundreds of miles away. I hadn’t made new friends, I was still mourning the death of a close family member, and all of the change that was happening at that point in time was too much to handle. 

But with time, things got better. I got adjusted to college, found a group of friends to feel more at home even though I was nowhere close to my actual home. I also chose to distance myself from things that gave me more anxiety and I have forced myself to ask for help.

I just want to make it clear that I didn’t post this to make others who have anxiety to feel discouraged. Yes, anxiety is a lifelong journey that has many ups and downs. Yes, you will have times where you feel like the ups don’t exist anymore. You might find yourself spiraling in the way I was when I wrote that letter. And that’s fine. But the important thing is that you keep in your mind that there always is hope for a brighter tomorrow. Just in the way that you may wake up and suddenly feel down, you can also do that and feel okay. The tips for helping your anxiety might not always work, and some days you might want to lock yourself away from everyone else. But just remember, you’re not alone. You’re not the only person that has felt that way. And if you ever need to talk to someone about the mess that can consume your mind due to anxiety– you can always confide about it on the internet.

Thank you so much for reading through this whirlwind of a post. Leave a comment below if you have ever went through something similar to this, or if it has given you more of an insight of what anxiety actually is.

Be sure to follow to stay up to date with my misadventures in life, college, and anxiety.

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