Failure: The Thing our Parents Didn’t Warn Us About

Parents are supposed to be like this endless fountain of wisdom springing from their own experience. They teach us everything from how to walk to how to change a flat tire. But, there are some things that they don’t quite prepare us for, like failure.

And no, not the type of failure that happens when you totally bomb a test. I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, tear-causing failure that hits you at your most vulnerable spot. The kind of failure that life throws at you when you least expect it. And even our parents, who are our cheerleaders in life, can’t prepare us for that feeling.

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try.

And for somebody that is very organized and goal-oriented, this was a tough pill to swallow. I’ve always been the person who has extremely high expectations. I’ve always wanted to be the best and set an example for everyone else. I’ve always wanted to make everyone proud of how much I can achieve. I just wanted to be perfect.

I’m not quite sure where my desire to always succeed at everything spawned from, but I do know that it ruined my mentality in a lot of things. I worked myself to the maximum, I forfeited my sanity, and I stopped doing things for myself out of my desire to make everyone else proud. And when I failed at being the best, it destroyed me.

When things didn’t go to plan, when my life wasn’t on the track that I imagined it would be, I fell apart. I never wanted to fail at anything, and when it happened, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bounce back. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again. I stopped making goals. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped wanting to be more. And that’s the worse thing I could have done.

You know that phrase where when the horse kicks you off, the only thing you can do is climb on again? I should have done that. But instead, I wallowed in self-pity with my tail tucked between my legs. I didn’t want to put myself in the place where I could fail again. And I did that until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I only stopped when I realized that I’m not that person. I can’t sit back and not try, because it is in my nature to want to do as much as possible. And I definitely was not going to put everything in my life on pause because I failed at one thing.

So, I picked myself up, told myself I was finished crying, and re-evaluated some things. I realized that I have spent so much time trying to make everyone around me proud that I forgot about what I wanted. I was living for everyone else, not for myself. So, I changed that. I sat down, thought about what made me happy, and set goals to focus more on that.

I accepted the fact that life won’t always be picture perfect. Things won’t always go to plan. Life can be hard and you aren’t going to be the brightest person in the room. There will be difficult times in life that even the longest of parent lectures cannot prepare you for. But that’s what makes life great.

If life didn’t have it’s ugly and hard moments, then the other times wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful. I have learned way more from the times when I failed compare to what I would have if I had just breezed through life. And no, my parents, may not have warned me about just how hard life can knock you down, but that’s fine. Sometimes you just have to learn about how to cope with not living up to your expectations on your own.

IMG_1577

I hope you enjoyed this! Its just something that has been on my mind lately and I felt the need to share it. Tell me if you want to see more motivational posts like this in the future! Be sure to leave a comment, like, and follow! And, as always, stay rad.

IMG_1066 2

Find me on Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram

Advertisements

45 thoughts on “Failure: The Thing our Parents Didn’t Warn Us About

  1. This post is so important and so true, too. It is so hard to accept failure and move on from it, and perhaps even learn a lesson from it, but it is vitally important to do so because if you don’t, you might miss out on the next amazing opportunity.
    Great post! XO!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can honestly say that this post brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad I visited your site because this was a very timely message and I related to it so very deeply.

    “I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again” was a piece that really resonated. Because I was so used to being great or “the best” when I was younger, the first time I truly failed it was devastating, and set me on the path of playing it safe and living in fear of failure.

    I think you are exactly right in saying that failing at one thing doesn’t compare to the many others we can succeed at and the best thing to do is carry on.

    Thank you for writing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This comment has made my day! I’m happy that my words made you feel something! I’ve always been That Perfect Kid too and it gives you this insane complex where you nearly drive yourself insane.

      Thank you for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. “Because I was so used to being great or “the best” when I was younger, the first time I truly failed it was devastating, and set me on the path of playing it safe and living in fear of failure.”

      I swear this is a 100 percent true . Failures are devastating and heart breaking.. You put all that I wanted to say in words (which I could not because I am crying reading this post because it stopped me from doing something stupid ).

      Liked by 2 people

      1. if you ever need to chat, I’m all ears! Life can be difficult, your mental state can suffer, and things feel like they may never look up. But they will, eventually. As cliche as that seems. I’m glad you have found solace in my writing!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Hey,thank you so so much,like really, you have no idea how happy I am feeling reading your reply. So sweet of you. And yes,I get constant relapses of me being picked on in class for two years and all that utter humiliation in the entire class. Its all over now but Its all happening in my mind always. I can never forget whats happened to me….But thanks again. And yes, I read all of your posts and I do find solace in your writing. You are so relatable. And one other source of my happiness is Lilly SIngh(Youtuber). She is inspiring as hell.

        Like

      3. I am such a bad writer, have not posted much, I am surprised that you still followed my blog. Thanks sister for that.I dont think I am going to be writing any fresh stuff anymore other reblogging powerful posts like that of yours,atleast till I get well. God bless you.

        Like

  3. It’s sooo true. We all fear failing so much. Maybe that’s because we only love listening to people sing our praises and not our bad side. I guess we should all learn to accept every part of us. That way failure would hurt less. Great post.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Girl I MAJORLY feel you on this topic. I am such a planner that if things don’t go the way they are meant to I have a mental break down, literally. Really hard to realize that you gotta push through the tough times in life. Especially after high school. THAT is the hardest time for me currently!
    Pushing through though.
    Hope you are having a lovely week!
    -LAURYN
    http://WWW.ELEGANTCHANCES.COM

    Like

  5. Hey. I just happened to search for “failures” in the WordPress Search section out of sheer desperation and hope of reading something that will make me feel better. And I happened to come across this post. And I swear that this post made me cry. Its been three years I have been only having failures and failures in my life and I am just to done with living life like a loser. Nobody quite understands what I am going through and I am nothing less than embarassed and humiliated with whatever that has been( and is ) happening in my life. Thank you so much for this post. I just hope I get back on the right track soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you liked my post and also, give yourself some credit. You went out searching for something to make you feel better. You took initiative, and that is something to be proud of. I’m proud of you! I’m sorry your life has been in a dark phase, but I am so sure that it will eventually look up. Even if that seems impossible right now. My biggest piece of advice is to not compare your state to others, because nobody has a life as perfect as they make it out to be. Focus on yourself, not the ones around you. That’s the best way to get on the path of feeling better.

      Like

  6. “When things didn’t go to plan, when my life wasn’t on the track that I imagined it would be, I fell apart. I never wanted to fail at anything, and when it happened, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bounce back. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again. I stopped making goals. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped wanting to be more. And that’s the worse thing I could have done.”

    Same. I have been doing it for THREE years now.Gotta stop self-sabotaging from now.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Love this post so much!! Even in my 30’s I’m still learning about failure and how it terrifies me. I’m also a perfectionist so the thought of failing is scary. But I recently told my siblings that I realized failing isn’t true failure, as it can be a stepping stone to something greater, but true failure is giving up. So never give up! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s so amazing Im in love with your quote because its so correct! I always say that giving up is the worst thing you could possibly do in a situation. Thank you for your kind words!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s