Life’s Hardest Pills to Swallow

When we were kids, we were taught several important lessons. And these lessons can range from always chew with your mouth closed to the mantra of “sharing is caring.” Our minds are filled to the brim of different wisdoms that cause for us to cultivate some sort of expectation about how life should work. We learn that if we say sorry, then we will be forgiven. We are taught that if we treat people with kindness, then people will be kind in return. And, if we love someone, then they will definitely love us back.

But, as we grow older and gain more experiences, we learn that this bits of wisdoms are not as rigidly true as they are made out to be. Life cannot be contained into following the path that you want it to. People aren’t going to act the way you expect them to. And these facts can lead to you facing some realizations that you weren’t ever really prepared for.

As I’ve went through life and experienced different setbacks, I have come across what I call some of life’s hardest pills to swallow, which are the harsh truths of life that kind of contradict everything that we have been told at a young age.

Sometimes People Are Just Not Going to Like You

This was extremely difficult for me to accept because I am the definition of a people pleaser. I have this unyielding desire for everyone I meet to like me. I want everyone to smile when they think of me and only ponder over my good qualities. But life isn’t like that. There have been several people who disliked me from my first impression due to my terrible case of RBF and I was able to rationalize that they just haven’t gotten the chance to know the real me. But even after people have seen my real personality, I have had people who just didn’t like me and there was nothing I could do to change that.

And, at first, I couldn’t stand it. I wanted people to like me so badly that it wounded me when somebody did not. I would spend all of my energy trying to convince these people that I was worth their time and that I had qualities that I felt they would enjoy. And the only result of that was me wasting my time on people who completely lacked interest.

So, I decided to invest my time in people who actually cared for me then those who did not. It is so much more beneficial to the care of your deep friendships rather than sacrifice them because you’re so busy trying to impress those who don’t even care. Instead of obsessing over what was wrong with me, I started to see the qualities of myself that the ones close to me adore and I continued to build on those instead.

Learning this life lesson caused for me to suffer a big blow to my confidence, but in the end, I think it has helped me grow in ways that I can’t really articulate.

You Can’t Decide When You Should Be Forgiven

When you do something wrong, you should say sorry. That’s a simple fact. And you should apologize when you hurt somebody, don’t get me wrong on that. But the thing that is often glossed over is that when we say sorry, we immediately expect someone to accept our apology and forgive us. But that’s not really how life actually pans out.

If you hurt someone’s feelings, you can’t decide when the person should be over it. Even if you are truly sorry and regret what you have done, it’s not up to you to feel that the entire ordeal should be forgiven. You don’t have control over the emotions of others. The only thing you can do in this situation is be respectful of the other person’s feelings and be aware that the world doesn’t move at the pace that you wish it did. I know it’s difficult when you apologize to someone and they don’t forgive you because that goes against everything that we have been taught since we were little. But life doesn’t always perfectly mirror all of the morals that we have ingrained in our minds. My only advice to someone in a similar situation is to remember that action speaks louder than words, so truly show your remorse through your behavior to this person.

You Are Not Entitled to Have Someone’s Love

This seems to be one of the most difficult pills to swallow for some people. When it comes to love, we have been told that true love will always win out in the end. And if you love someone but they haven’t given you that love in return, then you should continue to make them fall for you. But that is definitely not the case.

If someone doesn’t love you back, respect that. Just because you feel that you deserve a fairy tale ending with someone does not mean that they will ever feel the same way. Sometimes people just simply won’t reciprocate your feelings and you can’t get angry with them because of that because you are not entitled to have them be returned.

Does it feel like you are being stabbed in the heart when someone doesn’t love you the way you love them? Yes. But you have to remember that you cannot control someone’s heart. You can’t make them feel something that they cannot. And if you try to convince them into feeling something that they don’t and try to force a relationship, it will only hurt you even more because you are not going to be as happy as you thought you would be. Someone might make you the happiest person on Earth, but that doesn’t mean that you are the person that makes them happy. And that’s the cold, hard truth. But you can maintain a relationship with this person and use this experience as a lesson for the next time you devote your love to someone because you will find your person eventually.

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I know that this post may seem a little dark, but I don’t intend for it to feel that way. These are all important lessons in life, and even if you haven’t experienced these situations before, you can take a lot away from this.

Personally, I have taken away the knowledge that you cannot have complete control over every aspect of your life, no matter how badly you want to be in control. Life has it’s own plans for you. You may not enjoy the paths it takes you down, but you will come from every situation having learned at least something of worth. Your heart is going to be broken. You will have days where you don’t want to get out of bed. And yes, life really does have the nasty habit of kicking you while you’re down. And while everything doesn’t resemble the idea of how situations should pan out in your head, it does give you the opportunity to find other ways to make yourself happy.

And even in the most hopeless moments when life is sucker punching you in the face, remember that you’re lucky. You’re lucky to be alive. You’re lucky to be around people who care for you. You’re lucky that you get to witness the sun set everyday. You’re even lucky that your life gets to have dark moments, because every dark moment will have a light of promise for a better tomorrow to shine on it eventually.

I hope you enjoyed this post! It’s been something that has been stuck on my mind lately and I just had to get this off of my chest. Comment below with your thoughts or even your own opinion of what life’s hardest pills to swallow are. Also, be sure to like and follow for more of my posts! And, as always, stay rad.

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56 thoughts on “Life’s Hardest Pills to Swallow

  1. I love this post so much because it is so true! I am someone who loves to be in control at all times and know what is going to happen and when and it frustrates me that I cannot be in control at all times but that is also the beauty of life – sometimes you are going to be surprised. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love when you comment because you’re just such a rad person! I’m glad you relate to my feelings of needing to be in control and not being too happy when things are just out of your control’s reach.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed reading this post because it’s all so true and I agree with every point you made. I’m a real people pleaser like you so I understand that feeling of not knowing why someone doesn’t like you and wanting to do everything in your power to change that but I’m learning in life there will always be people we clash with and that’s just the way it is! Great post lovely

    Jess // foundationsandfairytales.wordpress.com
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it! i feel like as people pleasers, this is such a hard thing to accept. But it’s just one of those things that we have to adjust to so that we won’t become over-consumed with the “why don’t they like me?”

      Thank you for your comment! x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. True! I invest more time for those people who really cares. enjoying my journey rather whining about things. Life is a bittersweet’ .. It comes with great maturity to accept the facts that sometimes challenges will come along the way’ .. Yes’ I still feel blessed and struggles made me a better person.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow, I really enjoyed reading this. Everything you said is so true. I’m a people pleaser as well and the fact that I don’t always know what people think of me, worries me sometimes. I know that it’s okay for people to not always have a positive opinion of me but that’s taken me a long time to get my head around. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m happy that you enjoyed this! I’m glad that I’m not alone in the unrelenting thoughts of what people think about me! It’s really difficult to accept that not everybody will like you.

      Like

  5. I personally have wasted lots of my time investing in people who just lacked interest in me, thinking they would like me back the same way I did. It took me a lot of time to understand that some people are just not going to like you and I have just been giving people many chances to reject me , only because I wanted them to like me.
    It also took me a long time to understand that I am a people pleaser and wanted everybody to like me and this is not just going to be possible in the real world.

    All in all, this post is awesome and (deep,mature and so perfect) I really liked reading it. Its just my own story. And looking at the comment section, I can see a lot of like-minded people in here. I agree with every single point you made.

    Thanks for this blog post Kelsey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel like it is so difficult and can be so painful to have to face the realization that no matter how kind you are or how hard you try, some people will just simply not like you. It goes against everything we have been taught and it quite frankly sucks. But life is about seeing the negative and then being able to shape it into some sort of life lesson that you can gain from.

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment and for reading! I never thought of myself as a mature writer, but I’ll take it!

      Like

  6. Wow, this was a really deep, hard-hitting post, Kelsey! I loved it though and all these points are so true. Especially the one about forgiveness; it’s not up to us to decide when someone else feels like it’s the right time to forgive you and I think that’s something adults gloss over when teaching kids these “life lessons”! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy you agree with these lessons! And the forgiveness one is so, so important. I feel like people always forget this one and it makes the situation more difficult for everybody. Thank you for your amazing comment!

      Like

  7. This post is honestly amazing – and so. damn. true. I think as children we’re taught the world in a very black and white, formulaic way. You do x and y happens. If you don’t do z, a won’t happen. When b happens, do c and you’ll get d. Real life absolutely DOESN’T work like that and while it can definitely be a shock to the system, you learn so much from it xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you worded this, I totally agree. People often treat life like everything has a perfect cause and effect relationship, but that is so not the case. The world is filled with grey areas that can’t be truly explained in a clear-cut way.

      Thank you so much for commenting, I’m in love with your blog so this means a lot to me.x

      Like

  8. These are such great points and very well written! I agree with everything you’ve said here. I think the hardest life lesson is that you don’t always get back what you give out. Even if you’re the nicest person in the world, someone will always screw you over at least once. I wish it was as simple as it’s made out when you’re young! Great post x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Kelsey, you are definitely wise beyond your years! Great post and so refreshing to read, yes, this is real, life is not always fair, and we don’t always get what we want. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say!
    Joan Senio
    Kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com
    @joansenio1

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Loved this so much ❤️ This is just so true. We need to let things be and if things are meant to be, they are. We shouldn’t force things which aren’t meant to be. I’m also a people pleaser and feel hurted when people don’t like me but that’s life. Not everyone can like you and that’s okay. Beautiful written post ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Im so glad that you enjoyed this post! As a people pleaser its so difficult to realize not everyone will enjoy your presence, but once you accept that its a part of life then it gets easier to cope with. Thank you for your kind words!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Kelsey, this was such an amazing post and it’s so very true!! You worded it so well. Growing up we’re taught so many lessons in a very black and white way with no real grey area, but it’s true that there is just so much more to it most times.

    It used to hurt so much to know that not everyone liked me, but of course, we’re all human. It’s taken work but now I focus on those that do matter, and being appreciative of all that we do have in life instead of focusing on the imperfections.

    Thank you so much for sharing this Kelsey!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m a firm believer in the grey area. That the world always has a messy place that we have to navigate through together. But the grey area is what makes everything more interesting to live through. Thank you so much for your kind comment!

      Like

  12. Wow, girl! This post just… hit me right in the heart. You just get each point so accurate! I especially love the last one, because I can really relate. Your posts are so useful and awesome to read: I should comment way more often! I don’t usually comment on posts, but I reassure you that I read every single one of them and totally adore them! Never stop being you, gorgeous ❤️

    Like

  13. It took me ages to accept that not everyone was going to like me and some people were going to dislike me for reasons I wouldn’t be able to understand! I used to get really upset over it like you said you did, but the same went for me – once I started focusing on the people who did care about me, the people who didn’t, stopped mattering as much! This was a great post x

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I agree with these life lessons. There are times when people won’t like you and that’s fine. Keep things professional if you have to and do whatever you can to limit interactions. I mean it sucks but we can’t let it be something that keeps us up at night :). YES on the forgiven part! You messed up – you can’t make the rules! I agree with the entitlement with people’s love as well. You can’t demand for it – you need to earn it!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Investing your time in people that you care for/ care for you and only them is the best feeling! Can’t please everyone can you! “If you hurt someone’s feelings, you can’t decide when the person should be over it” yes yes yes!!! This is so true, I think I love this so much because I tend to hold grudges haha! The paragraph about love was hard to read but very true, really enjoyed reading this!! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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