advice – Kelsey + Life

5 Tips For Starting A Blog

If you’re sitting in front of your computer, asking yourself how to even get started with having a semi-successful blog, these tips are perfect for you!

So, if you’ve stumbled upon this post, then you’re probably looking into becoming a blogger. And I’m sure your head is already filled with dreams of how you’re going to have thousands of followers and will be throwing out more ads than Kylie Jenner on one of her best days. Or maybe you’re just happy that you’ve finally found an outlet to write about whatever your heart desires. But either way— you’re going to have to get started with your blog, and that can actually be one of the hardest things to do. So if you’re sitting in front of your computer, asking yourself how to even get started with having a semi-successful blog, these tips are perfect for you!

Find your label.

If you’ve ventured into the world of blogging at all, then you’ve surely noticed that there are millions of different types of bloggers out there. You have your parent bloggers, your beauty bloggers, your lifestyle bloggers, your travel bloggers, your bloggers who blog about blogging— its something that you can post more than once or twice about. You kind of need to find your label for later on down the road, when you’re presenting yourself to others. Because when someone asks about what youre doing you can’t just say “Im a blogger.” Because then they won’t really be able to know what your content is about. However, if you are able to identify as a travel blogger, then they will be able to draw conclusions that your content will fit with what they’re looking for. Also, please notice that I didn’t say “niche” when talking about this. Because, yes, niches are great! But if you’re going to be blogging for the long haul, you’ll find yourself wanting to branch out of your niche eventually. So instead of confining yourself in an overly specific thing in the start like exclusively blogging about homemade shoes, start out with a broader label and then narrow your way down.

Photos like this could be used to help label yourself as a travel blogger.

Plan a (REASONABLE) Posting Schedule.

So you’ve made your first post and are finally happy with your blog’s theme. And you’re so excited that you want to make another post. And another post. And another post. All within the same hour. And it’s great that you’re so motivated to write all of these posts! But maybe pump the brakes a little. One of the best ways to gain traffic to your blog is through consistent posting. So, unless you’re going to be able to make four posts for every hour (which, please don’t do that, your followers will not appreciate the spam), you’re going to have to find a consistent schedule. Find one that fits best with your life schedule and then write it down. For example, you can schedule to post every Monday and Friday, or every two days, or everyday if you want. Just find something reasonable and once you make your schedule— try to stick to it. Because if you fall off track and forget to post for a month, you will definitely lose the traffic that you built up. Also, keep in mind that you don’t have to immediately post every blog that you finish. Feel free to stockpile your posts! In fact, I encourage this. You will love your past self so much when life gets too hectic to be able to write something but it’s fine because you already had something saved. I know this seems like a really small step, but it will make your blog so efficient later on.

Create graphics for your posts.

Once you’ve gotten in the groove of making posts that you love, you’re going to want to personalize them a little bit and make them more clickable for your potential audience. And while stock photos are great for adding some more visuals to your writing, a graphic that you’ve created will add a little extra dash of creativity to your blog. And making amazing graphics is actually way easier than it sounds! There are several different platforms you can use to make graphics for your blog posts. In fact, I’ll actually be publishing a review on one of the sites soon. So stay tuned and follow me for that!

This is an example of a graphic for one of my older posts.

Let’s Get Social.

If you want your blog to have a wider reach, then you’re going to have to connect your blog with other social media platforms. Personally, I have been using Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram to connect with others for my blog. Also, I’m a part of a few Facebook groups too, and they’ve been an amazing help to gain even more feedback. For Twitter, I recommend making one that is disconnected from your personal account, seeing as you’ll be tweeting a lot about blogs and your friends probably won’t be too interested in seeing that. This step is actually the biggest one that can launch your amount of readers. If you’re interested in learning more about my tips for being more social with your blog, leave a comment below and I can definitely make a post about it!

My instagram

Learn from Other Bloggers.

This is the step that has made me be able to mold my blog into what it is today. A lot of people when they first start just make their posts and go because that’s all that blogging should be about, right? Wrong. Half of being a blogger is the writing. The other half is all about networking. You’re going to have to spend your time reading other bloggers’ posts. And not just skimming, genuinely reading them. And after you actually read them, you should always leave a well thought out comment about what you enjoyed or any questions you have. Don’t just have a copy and paste comment that you leave on others’ posts in the hope of gaining exposure. If you do that, then the blogger is just going to want to ignore you because you didn’t take the time to actually read about it Instead, make real connections, learn from other bloggers’ and study their methods. Find people who you genuinely enjoy to read and don’t be afraid to tell them that you do enjoy their blog. Exposing yourself to other bloggers and paying attention is one of the best methods to strengthen your content. It never hurts for you to learn from others.

Source

Getting into the world of blogging is a lot of work, but thats the beauty of it You’re going to work hard, you’re going to have questions, and you’re inevitably going to grow from
this experience. And it doesn’t hurt that the blogging community is actually extremely helpful and they want to help you grow too.

You’re going to not know what people are talking about when they use weird tech jargon— heck I still don’t understand half of it And even after you’ve been blogging for years you’re still going to have questions. The blogging world is constantly evolving, so in turn, you will be constantly evolving too. But don’t stress about the super big things yet and get your feet firmly on the ground before you start worrying about SEO and affiliates and all of the other things that people like to stress the beginners out with. And never, ever forget, that you started this blog so that people can hear your voice. So don’t lose yourself in the process of this whole thing.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask below and Ill try to answer them to the best of my ability! And, for any of the established bloggers that may be reading this, what is an important tip that you would give to new bloggers?

I hope you all enjoyed this little piece. Im doing a new series about blog help for beginners because I, a certified dummy, have had difficulties with understanding some of the intense lessons that I’ve came across when I had questions. So if you want to read more posts like this, give this post a like! If you want to read more of my posts, be sure to follow me! And, as always, stay rad.

Hang Out With Me on Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram

Life’s Hardest Pills to Swallow

As I’ve went through life and experienced different setbacks, I have come across what I call some of life’s hardest pills to swallow, which are the harsh truths of life that kind of contradict everything that we have been told at a young age.

When we were kids, we were taught several important lessons. And these lessons can range from always chew with your mouth closed to the mantra of “sharing is caring.” Our minds are filled to the brim of different wisdoms that cause for us to cultivate some sort of expectation about how life should work. We learn that if we say sorry, then we will be forgiven. We are taught that if we treat people with kindness, then people will be kind in return. And, if we love someone, then they will definitely love us back.

But, as we grow older and gain more experiences, we learn that this bits of wisdoms are not as rigidly true as they are made out to be. Life cannot be contained into following the path that you want it to. People aren’t going to act the way you expect them to. And these facts can lead to you facing some realizations that you weren’t ever really prepared for.

Sometimes People Are Just Not Going to Like You

This was extremely difficult for me to accept because I am the definition of a people pleaser. I have this unyielding desire for everyone I meet to like me. I want everyone to smile when they think of me and only ponder over my good qualities. But life isn’t like that. There have been several people who disliked me from my first impression due to my terrible case of RBF and I was able to rationalize that they just haven’t gotten the chance to know the real me. But even after people have seen my real personality, I have had people who just didn’t like me and there was nothing I could do to change that.

And, at first, I couldn’t stand it. I wanted people to like me so badly that it wounded me when somebody did not. I would spend all of my energy trying to convince these people that I was worth their time and that I had qualities that I felt they would enjoy. And the only result of that was me wasting my time on people who completely lacked interest.

So, I decided to invest my time in people who actually cared for me then those who did not. It is so much more beneficial to the care of your deep friendships rather than sacrifice them because you’re so busy trying to impress those who don’t even care. Instead of obsessing over what was wrong with me, I started to see the qualities of myself that the ones close to me adore and I continued to build on those instead.

Learning this life lesson caused for me to suffer a big blow to my confidence, but in the end, I think it has helped me grow in ways that I can’t really articulate.

You Can’t Decide When You Should Be Forgiven

When you do something wrong, you should say sorry. That’s a simple fact. And you should apologize when you hurt somebody, don’t get me wrong on that. But the thing that is often glossed over is that when we say sorry, we immediately expect someone to accept our apology and forgive us. But that’s not really how life actually pans out.

If you hurt someone’s feelings, you can’t decide when the person should be over it. Even if you are truly sorry and regret what you have done, it’s not up to you to feel that the entire ordeal should be forgiven. You don’t have control over the emotions of others. The only thing you can do in this situation is be respectful of the other person’s feelings and be aware that the world doesn’t move at the pace that you wish it did. I know it’s difficult when you apologize to someone and they don’t forgive you because that goes against everything that we have been taught since we were little. But life doesn’t always perfectly mirror all of the morals that we have ingrained in our minds. My only advice to someone in a similar situation is to remember that action speaks louder than words, so truly show your remorse through your behavior to this person.

You Are Not Entitled to Have Someone’s Love

This seems to be one of the most difficult pills to swallow for some people. When it comes to love, we have been told that true love will always win out in the end. And if you love someone but they haven’t given you that love in return, then you should continue to make them fall for you. But that is definitely not the case.

If someone doesn’t love you back, respect that. Just because you feel that you deserve a fairy tale ending with someone does not mean that they will ever feel the same way. Sometimes people just simply won’t reciprocate your feelings and you can’t get angry with them because of that because you are not entitled to have them be returned.

Does it feel like you are being stabbed in the heart when someone doesn’t love you the way you love them? Yes. But you have to remember that you cannot control someone’s heart. You can’t make them feel something that they cannot. And if you try to convince them into feeling something that they don’t and try to force a relationship, it will only hurt you even more because you are not going to be as happy as you thought you would be. Someone might make you the happiest person on Earth, but that doesn’t mean that you are the person that makes them happy. And that’s the cold, hard truth. But you can maintain a relationship with this person and use this experience as a lesson for the next time you devote your love to someone because you will find your person eventually.

I know that this post may seem a little dark, but I don’t intend for it to feel that way. These are all important lessons in life, and even if you haven’t experienced these situations before, you can take a lot away from this.

Personally, I have taken away the knowledge that you cannot have complete control over every aspect of your life, no matter how badly you want to be in control. Life has it’s own plans for you. You may not enjoy the paths it takes you down, but you will come from every situation having learned at least something of worth. Your heart is going to be broken. You will have days where you don’t want to get out of bed. And yes, life really does have the nasty habit of kicking you while you’re down. And while everything doesn’t resemble the idea of how situations should pan out in your head, it does give you the opportunity to find other ways to make yourself happy.

And even in the most hopeless moments when life is sucker punching you in the face, remember that you’re lucky. You’re lucky to be alive. You’re lucky to be around people who care for you. You’re lucky that you get to witness the sun set everyday. You’re even lucky that your life gets to have dark moments, because every dark moment will have a light of promise for a better tomorrow to shine on it eventually.

I hope you enjoyed this post! It’s been something that has been stuck on my mind lately and I just had to get this off of my chest. Comment below with your thoughts or even your own opinion of what life’s hardest pills to swallow are. Also, be sure to like and follow for more of my posts! And, as always, stay rad.

Failure: The Thing our Parents Didn’t Warn Us About

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try.

Parents are supposed to be like this endless fountain of wisdom springing from their own experience. They teach us everything from how to walk to how to change a flat tire. But, there are some things that they don’t quite prepare us for, like failure.

And no, not the type of failure that happens when you totally bomb a test. I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, tear-causing failure that hits you at your most vulnerable spot. The kind of failure that life throws at you when you least expect it. And even our parents, who are our cheerleaders in life, can’t prepare us for that feeling.

And for somebody that is very organized and goal-oriented, this was a tough pill to swallow. I’ve always been the person who has extremely high expectations. I’ve always wanted to be the best and set an example for everyone else. I’ve always wanted to make everyone proud of how much I can achieve. I just wanted to be perfect.

I’m not quite sure where my desire to always succeed at everything spawned from, but I do know that it ruined my mentality in a lot of things. I worked myself to the maximum, I forfeited my sanity, and I stopped doing things for myself out of my desire to make everyone else proud. And when I failed at being the best, it destroyed me.

When things didn’t go to plan, when my life wasn’t on the track that I imagined it would be, I fell apart. I never wanted to fail at anything, and when it happened, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bounce back. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again. I stopped making goals. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped wanting to be more. And that’s the worse thing I could have done.

You know that phrase where when the horse kicks you off, the only thing you can do is climb on again? I should have done that. But instead, I wallowed in self-pity with my tail tucked between my legs. I didn’t want to put myself in the place where I could fail again. And I did that until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I only stopped when I realized that I’m not that person. I can’t sit back and not try, because it is in my nature to want to do as much as possible. And I definitely was not going to put everything in my life on pause because I failed at one thing.

So, I picked myself up, told myself I was finished crying, and re-evaluated some things. I realized that I have spent so much time trying to make everyone around me proud that I forgot about what I wanted. I was living for everyone else, not for myself. So, I changed that. I sat down, thought about what made me happy, and set goals to focus more on that.

I accepted the fact that life won’t always be picture perfect. Things won’t always go to plan. Life can be hard and you aren’t going to be the brightest person in the room. There will be difficult times in life that even the longest of parent lectures cannot prepare you for. But that’s what makes life great.

If life didn’t have it’s ugly and hard moments, then the other times wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful. I have learned way more from the times when I failed compare to what I would have if I had just breezed through life. And no, my parents, may not have warned me about just how hard life can knock you down, but that’s fine. Sometimes you just have to learn about how to cope with not living up to your expectations on your own.

I hope you enjoyed this! Its just something that has been on my mind lately and I felt the need to share it. Tell me if you want to see more motivational posts like this in the future! Be sure to leave a comment, like, and follow! And, as always, stay rad.

Find me on Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram

How To Survive: A Music Festival

Ahh, music festivals. A time for good music, outrageous outfits, and the inescapable fumes that could rival a frat house at 2 A.M. all for the small price of at least a hundred dollars. If you’ve ever been to a music festival, then you know that it’s not as simple as buying your ticket and showing up. There’s a lot of planning and preparation that goes into actually being able to enjoy your time at a music festival. And I would know, because I messed up in almost every way possible when I went to the Bunbury Music Festival and just barely survived the experience. I don’t want that to happen to you, dear reader.

So, learn from my mistakes and read on to see how to survive going to a music festival.

Step One:

Make sure you can afford the tickets. If you’re kind of thinking about going to a music festival, then do some research. Make sure you’re a fan of at least a handful of performers. Look at your bank account and decide if it will be worth starving for. And, for the love of God, don’t wait until the last second to get your ticket because they will most definitely sell out.

Step Two:

So, you bought your ticket. Congratulations. It should all be smooth sailing from now, right? Right? Wrong. Now is the time for you to look at the line-up and make a general idea of who you would want to see and what times they perform. Because what fool would buy tickets to a music festival and not try to make a tentative schedule of what they plan on seeing? (Spoiler alert: I’m the fool. I had no idea when anything was happening. It got confusing so quickly.)

Step Three:

This is the best part. Plan your outfit(s). Look at the weather forecast to see if it will be hotter than Satan’s kitchen or if it will be raining profusely while also being hotter than Satan’s kitchen and arrange your outfit accordingly. Also, wear something you’ll be comfortable. And do not, I repeat do not, wear shoes that are a size too small because your feet will literally never forgive you.

Step Four:

Find your sleeping arrangements. Whether it be in a tent or at a hotel, have something planned out so that you won’t end up having to sleep on the ground using a map of the festival as a blanket. And if you’re gonna try to stay at a hotel: book it early. Because, once again, they will probably sell out.

Step Five:

Get to your hotel or whatever, get dressed, use the bathroom, and get an Uber. Even if you’re familiar with the city you’re at, still get the Uber because it will be so much cheaper than the obscene price for parking. Also, if you’re planning on drinking, you should definitely make sure that you are unable to get behind the wheel of a car.

Step Six:

You’ve made it! Make sure you stay with a friend at all times. Go to the concerts you want to see. Take part in the food trucks that are there. Buy yourself something horribly overpriced to remember the day by. Oh, and be prepared to sweat. A lot.

Step Seven:

If you want a great seat to a headliner, get there early. Like, if you were to go see Post Malone, for example, don’t wait until thirty minutes before he’s set to start. Or else you’ll probably get stuck behind that one girl with no respect who has to get on her man’s shoulders and block everyone’s view of the show.

Step Eight:

Schedule your ride home early. Just in the off chance that all of cell service crashes and you find yourself sitting aimlessly in the busy city streets calling your mom in a state of panic because you cannot find a ride home. Also, bring pepper spray, because you might have to find yourself having to scare off a creepy guy who keeps staring at you.

Step Nine:

Get in your Uber. Enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes from watching the concert. Ignore the horrible smell that has clung to your clothes thanks to the guy who vaped like a freight train right beside you. And have a nice life chat with your Uber who is just trying to pay his way through med school and is oddly very motivational.

Step Ten:

Congratulations! You survived (barely)! Reward yourself with some midnight pizza and look through the obscene amounts of photos and videos you took.

I hope you enjoyed this! I’m planning on making this into a ‘How To Survive’ series with all different types of scenarios. Comment below if you’ve ever had a failed experience with something that was supposed to be epic. Also, be sure to like and follow. And, as always, stay rad!

Keep up with me on: Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter | VSCO

The Journey to Confidence

I was so intensely concerned about my outer beauty for so long that I would tear myself down at every chance that I got. And I never even felt somewhat proud of myself until I followed the cliche and searched within myself for things I liked.

We live in an era where there is beauty everywhere. From nature to city skylines to our friends on Instagram– it’s impossible to escape the glory of how pretty everything is. We are currently in a time where everyone is documenting the beautiful things about their lives and sharing it with others, and that’s amazing. I am a firm believer that we should be unyieldingly grateful for all of the beauty the world has to offer. But, if you’re anything like me, sometimes you have trouble not comparing the beauty of your life to the beauty of others.

There are so many girls that should be models, scenic photos that look straight out of a Sandals commercial, and daily vlogs that could rival movie trailers. And, personally, I want so badly to be part of it. I wish I was like those girls who are perfectly tan and skinny, wearing designer clothes and smiling without a care in the world. I even wish that I was girl who could proudly add a selfie on her Snapchat story just because she felt pretty in it and didn’t mind sharing. I wish I was that girl who just leaks with confidence.

But I’m not. I’m this girl, and I have no confidence at all.

From the time of when I was a little girl in grade school until now, I have always compared my image with others. I was never skinny enough. My hair has never been long enough. My face was not symmetrical enough. And I definitely was not pretty enough. And it’s nothing that anybody did. It’s just I would always want to be like other girls. Like my friends who were always rail thin. Like the girl who was never afraid to go up to the boy she liked. Like my older sister who was the coolest person on the planet.

And that constant stream of comparison ruined my mindset. I didn’t think I was as pretty as other girls, so I told myself they didn’t want to be my friend. I didn’t think I was as smart as my best friend, so I never rose my hand in class. I kept on telling myself that I wasn’t enough of something so that I ended up amounting myself into nothing.

I would stand in front of the mirror and try to search for things to like about myself, and I couldn’t. I was so intensely concerned about my outer beauty for so long that I would tear myself down at every chance that I got. And I never even felt somewhat proud of myself until I followed the cliche and searched within myself for things I liked.

I discovered that I am smart enough. I pushed myself to be proud that I knew the answers to hard questions. I allowed myself to be happy with my test scores. I stopped comparing myself with others at school and started focusing on beating the goals that I set for myself, and it worked. My confidence in my mind manifested into being confident socially. I started talking to people and learned that I was kind of good at it. I learned that I am actually a decent public speaker and I can use my skills with writing to make me more entertaining during conversations. I found bits and pieces of myself that I liked.

But the problem lies in the fact that the only things that I like about myself are on the inside. And that shouldn’t be a problem, seeing as we have always been told that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” and “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” But it’s different.

There is something different about being confident in your character as a person and being confident enough to wear a swimsuit and not want to cry. Both of these types of confidence are extremely important, but when you’re lacking one it can just make you feel empty and ashamed.

I believe that everyone is beautiful and we should all be proud of our skin. But for some reason I struggle so intensely with being positive towards my own body. I always want to hide myself and not be noticed. I worry that people make snide remarks about my appearance when I’m not around. I’ll cry if I look in the mirror for too long.

I hate it. I hate it because I wish that this was an issue that I could fix. I wish that I could smile and not feel the urge to cover it up. I hate that my brain always wants to compare myself with others. I hate that I can’t just wake up and be completely confident in myself. And I’m trying to fix it, I’m trying to build confidence in myself.

But it’s not an easy solution. Whenever I get compliments, my mind always bites back with the rude thought that someone is just being nice. When a guy flirts with me, I always think that it is some type of joke. It’s hard to build confidence when every step towards it actually pulls you two steps back.

I wish I had a nice conclusion for this post. Maybe a few helpful tips that can build confidence or maybe even a riveting plot twist where some incident in my life made me wake up with more confidence than I could ever imagine. But that’s not the case. I’m still on the long and difficult journey to loving myself, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be fully happy with who I am but at least I’m trying, right?

The only advice for confidence-building that I can give you is if you’re on the battle to be more confident like me, then try to help others on their journey too. Don’t be afraid to tell others that they’re beautiful, or to leave a kind comment on someone’s page. It never hurts to be kind to others. Especially because it’ll make you happier to know that you have the potential to make others smile.

I hope this wasn’t too heavy. This post was more so something that I really felt the urge to get off of my chest. Let’s spread some good vibes and comment below with an aspect of yourself that you’re proud of. Also, be sure to like and follow.And, as always, stay rad.

Keep updated with me on: Instagram |Twitter | Pinterest

The Inner Battle of Extrovert vs. Introvert

Introverts and extroverts are supposed to be polar opposites. But I have somehow been able to be both. And, to be honest, I don’t mind being both.

Ever since we were little we have been taught about differences of the personality spectrum. We have always been divided into two groups: the introverts and the extroverts. The introverts are the people who enjoy their alone time and are often described as “shy.” Extroverts, on the other hands, are the social butterflies of society. The ones who thrive in large groups of people and hate being left alone. These two different personality types seem to be world’s apart, don’t they? But what happens when someone has a personality that settles somewhere in the middle?

I have spent the last five years of my life trying to answer that question.

Whenever I was little, I was the absolute definition of an introvert. I only had three friends, mostly because they were kind of forced to be my friends because our mothers were friends too. I refused to speak during classes to the point where teachers arranged meetings with my parents to talk about how terribly shy I was. I would get overwhelmed in social situations and would always prefer to cuddle up with a book rather than to go to a birthday party. I was an introvert, and I wasn’t ashamed of it. That is just who I was.

But then as I got older, things changed. I started putting myself out there. I didn’t want to be the wallflower anymore, I wanted to be the tallest sunflower in the whole meadow. So I took chances, joined clubs, and started using my voice. And, truth be told, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being the person that was not afraid to make new friends. I enjoyed being heard.

I started hanging out with friends more often. I spoke in front of large crowds. I found myself thriving in social situations that I would have went to great lengths to avoid in the past. So, by that logic I should identify as an extrovert now, right?

Wrong.

Because even though I now find myself aligning more on the extroverted side of the spectrum more than I ever thought I would, I still have a lot of introverted tendencies. I still enjoy staying at home all alone. I still have times where I get overwhelmed with the thought of having to be around a lot of people. Oh, and I definitely still have severe shyness that I have to force myself to overcome almost everyday. So, where does that leave me?

Introverts and extroverts are supposed to be polar opposites. But I have somehow been able to be both. And, to be honest, I don’t mind being both. I like that I am able to hold a conversation with anybody and can spark friendships in the matter of minutes. But I also like that I am more than okay with staying the night in with only a book as my company. I like that I don’t constantly want to feel alone, but I don’t necessarily need to be surrounded by others either. It feels like the perfect balance for me, and that makes me feel more satisfied than I would if I was a full extrovert or a full introvert.

And I feel like I’m not the only person who is like this, I have plenty of friends that can be shy or would rather spend their time alone but they can also be a social butterfly if they need to be. Honestly, personality types don’t stay set in stone for our whole lives. We evolve and mature with age as we learn how to adjust our social lives to benefit us.

So, I’m not just an introvert. Or just an extrovert. I’m just a happy mixture of both and that is more than fine with me. I’m satisfied with being an extroverted introvert.

I hope that someone relates to this! Surely I cannot be the only extroverted introvert out there. Comment below about your personality type and if you’re happy with it! Also, be sure to like and follow! And as always, stay rad.

How to Find Happiness

We deserve to be happy. But it’s easier said then done when the world is in the current state that it is. Happiness can seem so unachievable at times, so how can we be happier?

Happiness. I’m sure the webster dictionary defines it as a feeling of joy that one may feel, but we often don’t talk about how even though everyone likes to pretend that they are experiencing happiness, it is not as an abundant of a feeling as we are led to believe. No single person is happy at any given moment, I mean, even babies cry and they hardly have any stressors in their lives.

We all strive to be happy, and I think that’s a great thing. We deserve to be happy. But it’s easier said then done when the world is in the current state that it is. Happiness can seem so unachievable at times, so how can we be happier?

It’s not simple. There is not one certain thing that will make every person on Earth instantly happy. Some people feel rejuvenated by self care and some people hate it. I wish that there was a life hack that every person could take part in that would instantly make the world a happier place, but there isn’t one because every person is different.

But there are a few tricks that every person should try so that they could make their days feel a little brighter. I encourage everyone to try at least one of them and see how it feels.

1. Clean Your Living Area

Wow, I turned into my mother by just typing that. And I know it sounds cliche and like a waste of time, but believe me— this works. Whenever your living area becomes extremely messy and chaotic it can make you feel like your life is messy and chaotic too. Also, if you have anxiety, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed by your surroundings and a great way to not feel like everything is closing in on you is to allow yourself to have more space. So, get up, and organize at least one part of your living area. It might be an annoying process while you’re doing i, but afterwards you will actually feel proud of yourself. Plus, no one can get onto you for having a messy room.

2. Set Goals for Yourself

Now, this one can seem a bit daunting. When people hear the word goal they think of long term things like becoming a billionaire or starting their own company from the ground up. But your goal doesn’t have to be that intense. You can have the goal of finishing a puzzle by the end of the week or, hey, the goal to clean your room! Goals don’t have to be elaborate and life-changing, they just have to be something that you have the urge to want to complete. Setting a goal for yourself can also give your life purpose. If you’re having trouble getting out of bed everyday, you can combat this by waking up and thinking “I’m gonna take one more step to finishing my goal today.” Having a goal, no matter how big or how small, makes your life feel meaningful. And the feeling of happiness when you achieve your goal is indescribable.

3. Cross Something off Your To Do List

Okay, so this might sound like setting a goal, but it’s not. This can be something that you’ve needed to get done but just haven’t had the motivation to do so. It can be washing the dishes or going to see that movie you’ve been wanting to see. Just do something minimal that you’ve been meaning to do and then allow yourself to be proud when you finish it. Not only will it make you feel more efficient, but it will also alleviate some of the stress that you’ve built up by not doing the thing that you’ve wanted to do.

4. Socialize with friends

For me, this is one of the most difficult but rewarding things to do. When I’m having an episode of sadness, I often want to shut in on myself. I won’t want to hang out with a friends and I even have trouble texting them back. And it’s not because I️ don’t want to be around them, personally I believe I have some of the best friends on the planet. It’s just I sometimes hit this mood where I can’t reach out. But after I force myself to find a way to slide into their schedule, I couldn’t be happier. Being around people that love you for you and want to laugh with you is honestly one of the best ways to combat sadness.

5. Get Organized!

I’m aware of how cliche this is. Believe me. But for some people this actually works. Doing things like sorting their clothes by color or purchasing a planner can cause for a person to be really satisfied with their lives. The feeling of being in control of the small things in their lives makes them feel more in control of their bigger struggles. And hey, it never hurts to at least try to organize your life.

6. Compliment Others

This is something that often isn’t talked about when giving advice on how to instill happiness in yourself. I mean, you’re trying to make yourself happy, so why are you complimenting others? Well, I’m a firm believer that smiles are contagious. If you take the time to make someone else smile, then you can’t help but to smile too. Also, what’s the harm in telling someone your honest and kind opinion. If you think a girl has a pretty necklace, tell her! If a guy has some cool hair, tell him! Don’t be afraid to pass out respectful compliments to people, because their smile will make you want to smile.

7. Give Back to the Community

This is my number one method to make myself happy. As I mentioned before, the world can be a dark place. Or so it seems. We see so much focus on the bad that we forget to notice the good. Heck, we forget to be the good. So, if you’re feeling down, find a local charity to contribute to. Help others and dont expect to be rewarded for it. Just contribute to the community and then you will feel happier. Not because you did your good deed for the day, but because you will be able to see firsthand that there is a lot of faith to still be had in humanity.

8. Make Time for Yourself

Sometimes you can stretch yourself too thin. You might have a thousand different obligations and your brand new planner can be already filled to the brim with tasks you have to accomplish for other people. Life can be extremely stressful, especially if you don’t make time for yourself. So the best way to combat this is to find the time to relax. Even if it’s just for five minutes everyday, try to block out a time where you can just breathe and praise yourself for all of the things you’ve accomplished. Because you deserve it.

9. Find a new hobby

Sometimes life can feel like you’re stuck in a rut. You fall into this routine of normalcy that can make you feel a little lackluster when you wake up each day. The things that once brought you joy have became part of your daily motions and you feel yourself losing passion for the the things you used to love. A great way to combat this feeling of being stuck is to add something fresh and exciting to your routine. Taking on a new hobby can rejuvenate your daily routine and make you excited as you go through your day. Whether it be to try your hand at drawing or practicing yoga, find something that you find mentally stimulating. Finding a new hobby can be the trick that you’ve been searching for to relieve your stress.

10. Be a little selfish

I know, this seems odd to have in the same list that recommends you do some community service, but bear with me. Oftentimes, we stretch ourselves too thin. If you’re anything like me, you’re so busy saying “yes” to others that you forget to say “yes” to making yourself a priority. Sometimes we can do so much for others and forget to do anything for ourselves until we feel empty. So, my advice to you is to be a little selfish. Make yourself a priority. And I’m not saying to only do things with your benefit in mind, but instead make choices that you know won’t cause you too much stress. Ask for help if you need it. You don’t have to spend your whole life being the person who does everything for everyone else. You’re allowed to take a step back and say, “Hey. I do a lot for others. I deserve to do something for myself.” Because as soon as you recognize your own need to take care of yourself, then you can start on the path to making yourself happy.

I know that I said it before, but please keep in mind that there is not a ritual that exists that can instantly make every person happy. Depression cannot be cured via a bubble bath. You can’t achieve life satisfaction by buying a planner. Being happy with the state of your life cannot be accomplished in one day. You have to work towards happiness.

You can find happiness by taking part in some of these things, or even finding your own thing that puts a smile on your face, but it’s a lifelong journey. You’ll face trials in life that’ll make you feel upset. You’ll have times where you want to give up on everything. But keep in mind that without the ugly parts of life, you wouldn’t be able to have the beautiful parts too.

So take care of yourself, do things to make you smile, do things to make other people smile. Because you deserve to be happy.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Leave a comment below about which method you use to lift your mood, I’d love to try it! Also be sure to like and follow if you enjoyed this. And, as always, stay rad.

The Perfect Summer Playlist

You need a perfect summer playlist that is happy and has a mixture of all of the genres of music, but have no fear, here is a post that is built entirely to suggest the best songs to blare in your car on a warm summer afternoon.

You’re in the car taking the winding backroads at about five miles too fast, the windows are down, your best friend is in the passenger seat, and you have your volume turned all of the way up. The warm summer sun beats down on the arm that you have dangled halfway out of your window. Your sunglasses are sliding down the bridge of your nose and your hair is a complete mess but you don’t mind because it’s summer and the trees on either side of the road are blurring together to dilute into a perfect shade of deep green. It’s summer and everything is perfect. Well, almost perfect.

Because you have yet to craft your perfect summer playlist and you have to keep skipping through songs so that you can maintain the happy and carefree vibe that you’re currently experiencing.

Uptown Girl – Billy Joel.
One – VHS Collection
Forgetting All About You – Phoebe Ryan
Overwhelming – Jon Bellion
Stung – Quinn XCII
Better Now – Post Malone
Never Fall in Love – Jack Antonoff, MO
PinkTree – Caye
Love Lies – Khalid, Normani (Snakehips Remix)
Solo – Demi Lovato, Clean Bandit
2 U – Pink Slip
Winnebago – Griffin, Quinn XCII, Daniel Wilson
Playinwitme – KYLE, Kehlani
I Believe In A Thing Called Love – The Darkness
Young – Cosmos & Creature (Win & Woo Remix)
Glory Days – Hayley Kiyoko (Moophs Remix)
Come on Eileen –
Look At Us Now – Lost Kings, A$AP Ferg
I’m OK – Shaylen, Manila Killa, AOBeats
The Way It Was – Coast Modern
Spice Girl – Anime
Bad 4 U – Imad Royal
Cheers – MoonzZ
Talk Too Much – Coin
Ugly Heart – GRL
Weekend – Louis the Child
Final Song – MO
Aloha – Mome
All Star – Smashmouth
Carry On – fun.
Gives You Hell – All American Rejects
Bennie and the Jets – Elton John
Dancing Queen – ABBA
When I Grow Up – Confetti
Jessies Girl – Rick Springfield
Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Red Red Wine – UB40
Sober Up – AJR

I hope that this gives you some inspiration for your own summer playlist! If you’re interested, I can post the link to my spotify playlist! Comment your current favorite summer jam, mine is Solo by Demi Lovato.

As always; be sure to like, comment, and follow! Stay rad!

Are Your Friends Good For You?

Toxic friendships are hard to spot, because it is often difficult to be able to take a step back and realize that the relationship you have with someone is being mentally harmful to you. So, how are you supposed to decide when friendships are toxic?

Friends, they come in different shapes, sizes– and dynamics.

We all have friends. But, not every friendship is the same. There are the friendships where your counterpart knows every secret that you own, and then there are the ones where you never delve far beneath the surface of formalities. And one of these types of friendships aren’t necessarily superior to the other, because we all need different types of friendships at different times in our lives. But, there is a type of friendship that you should try to avoid at all costs: and that is a toxic friendship.

And toxic friendships are hard to spot, because it is often difficult to be able to take a step back and realize that the relationship you have with someone is being mentally harmful to you. So, how are you supposed to decide when friendships are toxic?

First off, you can decide if a friendship is good for you or not by thinking about how you feel after spending time with them. If a being around a certain friend consistently makes you feel anxious or upset with yourself, then they’re probably not a good friend. If your friend is mentally tearing you down or treats you in a certain way that makes you feel less confident in yourself, then that is just simply someone you should not keep around in your life if you have the option. Life is a short adventure, so don’t waste your time on someone that will make you stop appreciating the beauty of it. If you can’t make yourself enjoy the time you spend a friend, then why continue to spend time with them?

Another sign that a friendship might be toxic is if you have an intense amount of competition with them. A bit of friendly competition is okay, seeing as it can push you to expand your limits and work to become a better version of yourself. But, when the friendship becomes entirely centered on besting them and always trying to be one step ahead of your friend, then it is no longer healthy. It’s not really a friendship if the only time you put energy into the relationship is to try to be better than the other. Especially because if you let this become a full-blown rivalry but you end up needing a shoulder to lean on, the chance of that friend taking anything you confide to them to use against you is extremely likely.

Speaking of a friendship that is bordering on becoming frenemies, you should also think about being careful befriending someone that you feel resentment towards. If you find yourself being close with someone that you want to talk badly about after they leave the room– don’t. Don’t be that friend who is slightly two-faced because if you want to gossip harshly about your supposed friend, then the people who witness you act that way will not want to trust you as a friend either. Anyways, if you don’t genuinely enjoy being friends with someone, then don’t be. You know that you don’t want to have a toxic friendship in your life, so you should also make the effort to not be the toxic friend either.

Overall, friendships should be something that have a positive impact in your life. The friendship does not have to be deep and soul-bearing, and you don’t even have to love the unconditionally. But you should want to smile when you think of your friend. A good friend doesn’t tear you down, and you shouldn’t want to tear that friend down either. Life can be crazy and unpredictable, and you want to have a good friendship that you can rely on. They might not be perfect, but if a friendship makes you happy then it is most definitely worth it. Just make sure that the friendship is actually good for you.

Thanks for reading, please like, comment, and follow!

The Truth About Anxiety

I wish that I could tell you that handling anxiety can one day lead to being okay forever. But that’s not the case. Life can still suck. Words sometimes won’t come out. And the sadness can stay for months at a time. There are no simple tips and tricks to fix it. I wish that there was.

TRIGGER WARNING: In this post there is an in-depth description of the not-so-bright side of anxiety. If this can upset you in any way, please don’t continue.

Hi. So this post will be a bit different from my other blogs. It’s not something that was really even meant to be broadcasted on the internet. Actually, it is something that was never even supposed to leave the inner workings of my mind. This post is actually from a letter that I was going to send to a close friend that I wrote during a time in my life where nothing was going right. I never planned on sharing it with anyone else, not even the person that the letter was originally for. But now that I’ve had enough time to reflect on it and see how much I’ve changed, I decided to let this small corner of the world get a glimpse into the mentality behind generalized anxiety.

So, here it is, my written panic attack :

I’m sorry that I’m not me.

That sounds weird. But, it’s true. We both know its true. I’m not the girl that you met. I’m not the same person that was brimming with joy and love. I don’t spend most of my time doing things to make others happy. I don’t even do things to make me happy anymore.

For the past few months, I’ve been empty. Things that used to make me smile don’t anymore. Conversations with old friends don’t bring me joy anymore. Even listening to my favorite song or taking a bubble bath or even doing those stupid breathing exercises that all of the self-help blogs claim to work wonders won’t fix this. I feel like in the place where I used to have all of this bright and swirling happiness there’s just nothing. And it’s stupid. I’m stupid.

I’m stupid.

I used to be happy. I had so much hope for where everything in my life was heading and I had so much love. Love for people, love for nature, love for myself. I had spent so long building myself up from the dark place where I used to be, and now suddenly it’s gone.

The love, the happiness, the feeling of being able to go into social situations and not wanting to cry. Its gone. And I didn’t even see it go. I think that’s the most terrifying thing. That you can spend so long fixing yourself and working on your mentality and then you wake up and everything that made you feel at peace is suddenly something that petrifies you. How is that even possible? How does everything in your mind change and you don’t even notice until it’s too late?

I truly felt like everything was okay. I thought I had my anxiety managed. And I wanted to have it managed, not just for me, but for you. For any person that is going through anxiety and wants to see a glimmer of hope that one day things will be alright. I wanted to show you that when you get older and when you’re able to surround yourself with people that support you and want you to be okay–you will be okay.

But that’s not the case. Things don’t get magically better. Even when you become older and are given the tools to handle your anxiety, it doesn’t help. Nothing helps.

I’m sorry that I filled your head with false hope. I’m sorry that I acted like I had anxiety all figured out like it was this manageable thing. I’m sorry that I’m not me anymore. I know that I disappeared and shut in on myself. I wasn’t replying to anyone, I wasn’t trying to be in social situations– it’s just half of the people in my life were making more anxious, and the other half were people that would want me to talk about it. And I can’t.

My mom told me that when I was a baby, whenever I would get upset I would get so angry that I would hold my breath until I would make myself pass out. And now, I do the same thing with my words. Whenever something is hurting me mentally, if someone tries to talk to me about it, I’ll hold it in until I explode. And that’s what I’m doing now. I’m bottling everything inside even though I know I shouldn’t just because I don’t want everyone to see how far I have fallen. I feel like I’m supposed to have it all figured out– but I don’t. I don’t think I ever will have it all figured out.

And for that, I can’t be more sorry. I wish that I could tell you that handling anxiety can one day lead to being okay forever. But that’s not the case. Life can still suck. Words sometimes won’t come out. And the sadness can stay for months at a time. There are no simple tips and tricks to fix it. I wish that there was.

But in reality, anxiety is like getting your gas pedal stuck while driving down the highway. You can do small remedies to try and fix it momentarily the car is still flying at an uncontrollable speed and everything else around you kind of blurs while you sink into the feeling of panic that nothing can be done to save you from the feeling.

I wish someone would save me from this feeling.

And that’s that. That’s the letter that I wrote to one of my closest friends and never ended up sending. I chose not to send it for several reasons. The biggest reason being that I knew she is struggling with anxiety too, and I didn’t want her to see me fall. I felt like me giving her what was going on in my mind and showing her how life wasn’t as good as I made it out to be would be damaging for her. The other reason was because it felt too raw. The night when I wrote that letter, I was in my second week at a college hundreds of miles away. I hadn’t made new friends, I was still mourning the death of a close family member, and all of the change that was happening at that point in time was too much to handle.

But with time, things got better. I got adjusted to college, found a group of friends to feel more at home even though I was nowhere close to my actual home. I also chose to distance myself from things that gave me more anxiety and I have forced myself to ask for help.

I just want to make it clear that I didn’t post this to make others who have anxiety to feel discouraged. Yes, anxiety is a lifelong journey that has many ups and downs. Yes, you will have times where you feel like the ups don’t exist anymore. You might find yourself spiraling in the way I was when I wrote that letter. And that’s fine. But the important thing is that you keep in your mind that there always is hope for a brighter tomorrow. Just in the way that you may wake up and suddenly feel down, you can also do that and feel okay. The tips for helping your anxiety might not always work, and some days you might want to lock yourself away from everyone else. But just remember, you’re not alone. You’re not the only person that has felt that way. And if you ever need to talk to someone about the mess that can consume your mind due to anxiety– you can always confide about it on the internet.

Thank you so much for reading through this whirlwind of a post. Leave a comment below if you have ever went through something similar to this, or if it has given you more of an insight of what anxiety actually is.

Be sure to follow to stay up to date with my misadventures in life, college, and anxiety.

M	T	W	T	F	S	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31