Life’s Hardest Pills to Swallow

As I’ve went through life and experienced different setbacks, I have come across what I call some of life’s hardest pills to swallow, which are the harsh truths of life that kind of contradict everything that we have been told at a young age. 

When we were kids, we were taught several important lessons. And these lessons can range from always chew with your mouth closed to the mantra of “sharing is caring.” Our minds are filled to the brim of different wisdoms that cause for us to cultivate some sort of expectation about how life should work. We learn that if we say sorry, then we will be forgiven. We are taught that if we treat people with kindness, then people will be kind in return. And, if we love someone, then they will definitely love us back.

But, as we grow older and gain more experiences, we learn that this bits of wisdoms are not as rigidly true as they are made out to be. Life cannot be contained into following the path that you want it to. People aren’t going to act the way you expect them to. And these facts can lead to you facing some realizations that you weren’t ever really prepared for.

As I’ve went through life and experienced different setbacks, I have come across what I call some of life’s hardest pills to swallow, which are the harsh truths of life that kind of contradict everything that we have been told at a young age.

Sometimes People Are Just Not Going to Like You

This was extremely difficult for me to accept because I am the definition of a people pleaser. I have this unyielding desire for everyone I meet to like me. I want everyone to smile when they think of me and only ponder over my good qualities. But life isn’t like that. There have been several people who disliked me from my first impression due to my terrible case of RBF and I was able to rationalize that they just haven’t gotten the chance to know the real me. But even after people have seen my real personality, I have had people who just didn’t like me and there was nothing I could do to change that.

And, at first, I couldn’t stand it. I wanted people to like me so badly that it wounded me when somebody did not. I would spend all of my energy trying to convince these people that I was worth their time and that I had qualities that I felt they would enjoy. And the only result of that was me wasting my time on people who completely lacked interest.

So, I decided to invest my time in people who actually cared for me then those who did not. It is so much more beneficial to the care of your deep friendships rather than sacrifice them because you’re so busy trying to impress those who don’t even care. Instead of obsessing over what was wrong with me, I started to see the qualities of myself that the ones close to me adore and I continued to build on those instead.

Learning this life lesson caused for me to suffer a big blow to my confidence, but in the end, I think it has helped me grow in ways that I can’t really articulate.

You Can’t Decide When You Should Be Forgiven

When you do something wrong, you should say sorry. That’s a simple fact. And you should apologize when you hurt somebody, don’t get me wrong on that. But the thing that is often glossed over is that when we say sorry, we immediately expect someone to accept our apology and forgive us. But that’s not really how life actually pans out.

If you hurt someone’s feelings, you can’t decide when the person should be over it. Even if you are truly sorry and regret what you have done, it’s not up to you to feel that the entire ordeal should be forgiven. You don’t have control over the emotions of others. The only thing you can do in this situation is be respectful of the other person’s feelings and be aware that the world doesn’t move at the pace that you wish it did. I know it’s difficult when you apologize to someone and they don’t forgive you because that goes against everything that we have been taught since we were little. But life doesn’t always perfectly mirror all of the morals that we have ingrained in our minds. My only advice to someone in a similar situation is to remember that action speaks louder than words, so truly show your remorse through your behavior to this person.

You Are Not Entitled to Have Someone’s Love

This seems to be one of the most difficult pills to swallow for some people. When it comes to love, we have been told that true love will always win out in the end. And if you love someone but they haven’t given you that love in return, then you should continue to make them fall for you. But that is definitely not the case.

If someone doesn’t love you back, respect that. Just because you feel that you deserve a fairy tale ending with someone does not mean that they will ever feel the same way. Sometimes people just simply won’t reciprocate your feelings and you can’t get angry with them because of that because you are not entitled to have them be returned.

Does it feel like you are being stabbed in the heart when someone doesn’t love you the way you love them? Yes. But you have to remember that you cannot control someone’s heart. You can’t make them feel something that they cannot. And if you try to convince them into feeling something that they don’t and try to force a relationship, it will only hurt you even more because you are not going to be as happy as you thought you would be. Someone might make you the happiest person on Earth, but that doesn’t mean that you are the person that makes them happy. And that’s the cold, hard truth. But you can maintain a relationship with this person and use this experience as a lesson for the next time you devote your love to someone because you will find your person eventually.

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I know that this post may seem a little dark, but I don’t intend for it to feel that way. These are all important lessons in life, and even if you haven’t experienced these situations before, you can take a lot away from this.

Personally, I have taken away the knowledge that you cannot have complete control over every aspect of your life, no matter how badly you want to be in control. Life has it’s own plans for you. You may not enjoy the paths it takes you down, but you will come from every situation having learned at least something of worth. Your heart is going to be broken. You will have days where you don’t want to get out of bed. And yes, life really does have the nasty habit of kicking you while you’re down. And while everything doesn’t resemble the idea of how situations should pan out in your head, it does give you the opportunity to find other ways to make yourself happy.

And even in the most hopeless moments when life is sucker punching you in the face, remember that you’re lucky. You’re lucky to be alive. You’re lucky to be around people who care for you. You’re lucky that you get to witness the sun set everyday. You’re even lucky that your life gets to have dark moments, because every dark moment will have a light of promise for a better tomorrow to shine on it eventually.

I hope you enjoyed this post! It’s been something that has been stuck on my mind lately and I just had to get this off of my chest. Comment below with your thoughts or even your own opinion of what life’s hardest pills to swallow are. Also, be sure to like and follow for more of my posts! And, as always, stay rad.

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Failure: The Thing our Parents Didn’t Warn Us About

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try. 

Parents are supposed to be like this endless fountain of wisdom springing from their own experience. They teach us everything from how to walk to how to change a flat tire. But, there are some things that they don’t quite prepare us for, like failure.

And no, not the type of failure that happens when you totally bomb a test. I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, tear-causing failure that hits you at your most vulnerable spot. The kind of failure that life throws at you when you least expect it. And even our parents, who are our cheerleaders in life, can’t prepare us for that feeling.

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try.

And for somebody that is very organized and goal-oriented, this was a tough pill to swallow. I’ve always been the person who has extremely high expectations. I’ve always wanted to be the best and set an example for everyone else. I’ve always wanted to make everyone proud of how much I can achieve. I just wanted to be perfect.

I’m not quite sure where my desire to always succeed at everything spawned from, but I do know that it ruined my mentality in a lot of things. I worked myself to the maximum, I forfeited my sanity, and I stopped doing things for myself out of my desire to make everyone else proud. And when I failed at being the best, it destroyed me.

When things didn’t go to plan, when my life wasn’t on the track that I imagined it would be, I fell apart. I never wanted to fail at anything, and when it happened, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bounce back. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again. I stopped making goals. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped wanting to be more. And that’s the worse thing I could have done.

You know that phrase where when the horse kicks you off, the only thing you can do is climb on again? I should have done that. But instead, I wallowed in self-pity with my tail tucked between my legs. I didn’t want to put myself in the place where I could fail again. And I did that until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I only stopped when I realized that I’m not that person. I can’t sit back and not try, because it is in my nature to want to do as much as possible. And I definitely was not going to put everything in my life on pause because I failed at one thing.

So, I picked myself up, told myself I was finished crying, and re-evaluated some things. I realized that I have spent so much time trying to make everyone around me proud that I forgot about what I wanted. I was living for everyone else, not for myself. So, I changed that. I sat down, thought about what made me happy, and set goals to focus more on that.

I accepted the fact that life won’t always be picture perfect. Things won’t always go to plan. Life can be hard and you aren’t going to be the brightest person in the room. There will be difficult times in life that even the longest of parent lectures cannot prepare you for. But that’s what makes life great.

If life didn’t have it’s ugly and hard moments, then the other times wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful. I have learned way more from the times when I failed compare to what I would have if I had just breezed through life. And no, my parents, may not have warned me about just how hard life can knock you down, but that’s fine. Sometimes you just have to learn about how to cope with not living up to your expectations on your own.

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I hope you enjoyed this! Its just something that has been on my mind lately and I felt the need to share it. Tell me if you want to see more motivational posts like this in the future! Be sure to leave a comment, like, and follow! And, as always, stay rad.

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