Failure: The Thing our Parents Didn’t Warn Us About

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try. 

Parents are supposed to be like this endless fountain of wisdom springing from their own experience. They teach us everything from how to walk to how to change a flat tire. But, there are some things that they don’t quite prepare us for, like failure.

And no, not the type of failure that happens when you totally bomb a test. I’m talking about the gut-wrenching, tear-causing failure that hits you at your most vulnerable spot. The kind of failure that life throws at you when you least expect it. And even our parents, who are our cheerleaders in life, can’t prepare us for that feeling.

In life, failure is inevitable. As much as I hate to admit it, not everything in life goes as planned. Not every goal that you set will be achieved. Life isn’t something that can be mapped out, no matter how hard you try.

And for somebody that is very organized and goal-oriented, this was a tough pill to swallow. I’ve always been the person who has extremely high expectations. I’ve always wanted to be the best and set an example for everyone else. I’ve always wanted to make everyone proud of how much I can achieve. I just wanted to be perfect.

I’m not quite sure where my desire to always succeed at everything spawned from, but I do know that it ruined my mentality in a lot of things. I worked myself to the maximum, I forfeited my sanity, and I stopped doing things for myself out of my desire to make everyone else proud. And when I failed at being the best, it destroyed me.

When things didn’t go to plan, when my life wasn’t on the track that I imagined it would be, I fell apart. I never wanted to fail at anything, and when it happened, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bounce back. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and never wanted to put myself in the place to fail again. I stopped making goals. I stopped trying so hard. I stopped wanting to be more. And that’s the worse thing I could have done.

You know that phrase where when the horse kicks you off, the only thing you can do is climb on again? I should have done that. But instead, I wallowed in self-pity with my tail tucked between my legs. I didn’t want to put myself in the place where I could fail again. And I did that until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I only stopped when I realized that I’m not that person. I can’t sit back and not try, because it is in my nature to want to do as much as possible. And I definitely was not going to put everything in my life on pause because I failed at one thing.

So, I picked myself up, told myself I was finished crying, and re-evaluated some things. I realized that I have spent so much time trying to make everyone around me proud that I forgot about what I wanted. I was living for everyone else, not for myself. So, I changed that. I sat down, thought about what made me happy, and set goals to focus more on that.

I accepted the fact that life won’t always be picture perfect. Things won’t always go to plan. Life can be hard and you aren’t going to be the brightest person in the room. There will be difficult times in life that even the longest of parent lectures cannot prepare you for. But that’s what makes life great.

If life didn’t have it’s ugly and hard moments, then the other times wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful. I have learned way more from the times when I failed compare to what I would have if I had just breezed through life. And no, my parents, may not have warned me about just how hard life can knock you down, but that’s fine. Sometimes you just have to learn about how to cope with not living up to your expectations on your own.

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I hope you enjoyed this! Its just something that has been on my mind lately and I felt the need to share it. Tell me if you want to see more motivational posts like this in the future! Be sure to leave a comment, like, and follow! And, as always, stay rad.

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How To Survive: A Music Festival

Ahh, music festivals. A time for good music, outrageous outfits, and the inescapable fumes that could rival a frat house at 2 A.M. all for the small price of at least a hundred dollars. If you’ve ever been to a music festival, then you know that it’s not as simple as buying your ticket and showing up. There’s a lot of planning and preparation that goes into actually being able to enjoy your time at a music festival. And I would know, because I messed up in almost every way possible when I went to the Bunbury Music Festival and just barely survived the experience. I don’t want that to happen to you, dear reader.

So, learn from my mistakes and read on to see how to survive going to a music festival.

Step One:

Make sure you can afford the tickets. If you’re kind of thinking about going to a music festival, then do some research. Make sure you’re a fan of at least a handful of performers. Look at your bank account and decide if it will be worth starving for. And, for the love of God, don’t wait until the last second to get your ticket because they will most definitely sell out.

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Step Two:

So, you bought your ticket. Congratulations. It should all be smooth sailing from now, right? Right? Wrong. Now is the time for you to look at the line-up and make a general idea of who you would want to see and what times they perform. Because what fool would buy tickets to a music festival and not try to make a tentative schedule of what they plan on seeing? (Spoiler alert: I’m the fool. I had no idea when anything was happening. It got confusing so quickly.)

Step Three:

This is the best part. Plan your outfit(s). Look at the weather forecast to see if it will be hotter than Satan’s kitchen or if it will be raining profusely while also being hotter than Satan’s kitchen and arrange your outfit accordingly. Also, wear something you’ll be comfortable. And do not, I repeat do not, wear shoes that are a size too small because your feet will literally never forgive you.

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Step Four:

Find your sleeping arrangements. Whether it be in a tent or at a hotel, have something planned out so that you won’t end up having to sleep on the ground using a map of the festival as a blanket. And if you’re gonna try to stay at a hotel: book it early. Because, once again, they will probably sell out.

Step Five:

Get to your hotel or whatever, get dressed, use the bathroom, and get an Uber. Even if you’re familiar with the city you’re at, still get the Uber because it will be so much cheaper than the obscene price for parking. Also, if you’re planning on drinking, you should definitely make sure that you are unable to get behind the wheel of a car.

Step Six:

You’ve made it! Make sure you stay with a friend at all times. Go to the concerts you want to see. Take part in the food trucks that are there. Buy yourself something horribly overpriced to remember the day by. Oh, and be prepared to sweat. A lot.

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Step Seven:

If you want a great seat to a headliner, get there early. Like, if you were to go see Post Malone, for example, don’t wait until thirty minutes before he’s set to start. Or else you’ll probably get stuck behind that one girl with no respect who has to get on her man’s shoulders and block everyone’s view of the show.

Step Eight:

Schedule your ride home early. Just in the off chance that all of cell service crashes and you find yourself sitting aimlessly in the busy city streets calling your mom in a state of panic because you cannot find a ride home. Also, bring pepper spray, because you might have to find yourself having to scare off a creepy guy who keeps staring at you.

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Step Nine:

Get in your Uber. Enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes from watching the concert. Ignore the horrible smell that has clung to your clothes thanks to the guy who vaped like a freight train right beside you. And have a nice life chat with your Uber who is just trying to pay his way through med school and is oddly very motivational.

Step Ten:

Congratulations! You survived (barely)! Reward yourself with some midnight pizza and look through the obscene amounts of photos and videos you took.

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I hope you enjoyed this! I’m planning on making this into a ‘How To Survive’ series with all different types of scenarios. Comment below if you’ve ever had a failed experience with something that was supposed to be epic. Also, be sure to like and follow. And, as always, stay rad!

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How to Find Happiness

We deserve to be happy. But it’s easier said then done when the world is in the current state that it is. Happiness can seem so unachievable at times, so how can we be happier? 

Happiness. I’m sure the webster dictionary defines it as a feeling of joy that one may feel, but we often don’t talk about how even though everyone likes to pretend that they are experiencing happiness, it is not as an abundant of a feeling as we are led to believe. No single person is happy at any given moment, I mean, even babies cry and they hardly have any stressors in their lives.

We all strive to be happy, and I think that’s a great thing. We deserve to be happy. But it’s easier said then done when the world is in the current state that it is. Happiness can seem so unachievable at times, so how can we be happier?

It’s not simple. There is not one certain thing that will make every person on Earth instantly happy. Some people feel rejuvenated by self care and some people hate it. I wish that there was a life hack that every person could take part in that would instantly make the world a happier place, but there isn’t one because every person is different.

But there are a few tricks that every person should try so that they could make their days feel a little brighter. I encourage everyone to try at least one of them and see how it feels.

1. Clean Your Living Area

Wow,  I turned into my mother by just typing that. And I know it sounds cliche and like a waste of time, but believe me— this works. Whenever your living area becomes extremely messy and chaotic it can make you feel like your life is messy and chaotic too. Also, if you have anxiety, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed by your surroundings and a great way to not feel like everything is closing in on you is to allow yourself to have more space. So, get up, and organize at least one part of your living area. It might be an annoying process while you’re doing i, but afterwards you will actually feel proud of yourself. Plus, no one can get onto you for having a messy room.

2. Set Goals for Yourself

Now, this one can seem a bit daunting. When people hear the word goal they think of long term things like becoming a billionaire or starting their own company from the ground up. But your goal doesn’t have to be that intense. You can have the goal of finishing a puzzle by the end of the week or, hey, the goal to clean your room! Goals don’t have to be elaborate and life-changing, they just have to be something that you have the urge to want to complete. Setting a goal for yourself can also give your life purpose. If you’re having trouble getting out of bed everyday, you can combat this by waking up and thinking “I’m gonna take one more step to finishing my goal today.” Having a goal, no matter how big or how small, makes your life feel meaningful. And the feeling of happiness when you achieve your goal is indescribable.

3. Cross Something off Your To Do List

Okay, so this might sound like setting a goal, but it’s not. This can be something that you’ve needed to get done but just haven’t had the motivation to do so. It can be washing the dishes or going to see that movie you’ve been wanting to see. Just do something minimal that you’ve been meaning to do and then allow yourself to be proud when you finish it. Not only will it make you feel more efficient, but it will also alleviate some of the stress that you’ve built up by not doing the thing that you’ve wanted to do.

4. Socialize with friends

For me, this is one of the most difficult but rewarding things to do. When I’m having an episode of sadness, I often want to shut in on myself. I won’t want to hang out with a friends and I even have trouble texting them back. And it’s not because I️ don’t want to be around them, personally I believe I have some of the best friends on the planet. It’s just I sometimes hit this mood where I can’t reach out. But after I force myself to find a way to slide into their schedule, I couldn’t be happier. Being around people that love you for you and want to laugh with you is honestly one of the best ways to combat sadness.

5. Get Organized!

I’m aware of how cliche this is. Believe me. But for some people this actually works. Doing things like sorting their clothes by color or purchasing a planner can cause for a person to be really satisfied with their lives. The feeling of being in control of the small things in their lives makes them feel more in control of their bigger struggles. And hey, it never hurts to at least try to organize your life.

6. Compliment Others

This is something that often isn’t talked about when giving advice on how to instill happiness in yourself. I mean, you’re trying to make yourself happy, so why are you complimenting others? Well, I’m a firm believer that smiles are contagious. If you take the time to make someone else smile, then you can’t help but to smile too. Also, what’s the harm in telling someone your honest and kind opinion. If you think a girl has a pretty necklace, tell her! If a guy has some cool hair, tell him! Don’t be afraid to pass out respectful compliments to people, because their smile will make you want to smile.

7. Give Back to the Community

This is my number one method to make myself happy. As I mentioned before, the world can be a dark place. Or so it seems. We see so much focus on the bad that we forget to notice the good. Heck, we forget to be the good. So, if you’re feeling down, find a local charity to contribute to. Help others and dont expect to be rewarded for it. Just contribute to the community and then you will feel happier. Not because you did your good deed for the day, but because you will be able to see firsthand that there is a lot of faith to still be had in humanity.

8. Make Time for Yourself

Sometimes you can stretch yourself too thin. You might have a thousand different obligations and your brand new planner can be already filled to the brim with tasks you have to accomplish for other people. Life can be extremely stressful, especially if you don’t make time for yourself. So the best way to combat this is to find the time to relax. Even if it’s just for five minutes everyday, try to block out a time where you can just breathe and praise yourself for all of the things you’ve accomplished. Because you deserve it.

9. Find a new hobby

Sometimes life can feel like you’re stuck in a rut. You fall into this routine of normalcy that can make you feel a little lackluster when you wake up each day. The things that once brought you joy have became part of your daily motions and you feel yourself losing passion for the the things you used to love. A great way to combat this feeling of being stuck is to add something fresh and exciting to your routine. Taking on a new hobby can rejuvenate your daily routine and make you excited as you go through your day. Whether it be to try your hand at drawing or practicing yoga, find something that you find mentally stimulating. Finding a new hobby can be the trick that you’ve been searching for to relieve your stress.

10. Be a little selfish

I know, this seems odd to have in the same list that recommends you do some community service, but bear with me. Oftentimes, we stretch ourselves too thin. If you’re anything like me, you’re so busy saying “yes” to others that you forget to say “yes” to making yourself a priority. Sometimes we can do so much for others and forget to do anything for ourselves until we feel empty. So, my advice to you is to be a little selfish. Make yourself a priority. And I’m not saying to only do things with your benefit in mind, but instead make choices that you know won’t cause you too much stress. Ask for help if you need it. You don’t have to spend your whole life being the person who does everything for everyone else. You’re allowed to take a step back and say, “Hey. I do a lot for others. I deserve to do something for myself.” Because as soon as you recognize your own need to take care of yourself, then you can start on the path to making yourself happy.

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I know that I said it before, but please keep in mind that there is not a ritual that exists that can instantly make every person happy. Depression cannot be cured via a bubble bath. You can’t achieve life satisfaction by buying a planner. Being happy with the state of your life cannot be accomplished in one day. You have to work towards happiness.

You can find happiness by taking part in some of these things, or even finding your own thing that puts a smile on your face, but it’s a lifelong journey. You’ll face trials in life that’ll make you feel upset. You’ll have times where you want to give up on everything. But keep in mind that without the ugly parts of life, you wouldn’t be able to have the beautiful parts too.

So take care of yourself, do things to make you smile, do things to make other people smile. Because you deserve to be happy.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Leave a comment below about which method you use to lift your mood, I’d love to try it! Also be sure to like and follow if you enjoyed this. And, as always, stay rad. 

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